POWs and lessons in brainwashing techniques

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

The more I read about brainwashing techniques the more I see more and more resemblence to what happened to me. Robert Lifton has studied the American prisoners of war extensively and he outlines the process this way.

1. Assault on identity

2. The Establishment of Guilt

3. The Self-betrayal

4. Breaking point: Total Conflict and the Basic Fear

5. Leniency and Opportunity

6. The Compulsion to confess

7. The Channeling of guilt

8. Re-education: Logical Dishonoring

9. Progress and harmony

10. Final confession

11. Rebirth

12. Release

I quote below some of the text that I found on the topic and add some comments.

Assault on identity

The whole tactic here is to create confusion and doubt in one self and one's mental abilities to assess the situation effectively. This is where one's judgement begins to cloud. We have all been there. The American prisoners were abused and tortured while everything they said was contradicted. Fairly quickly, they began to doubt themselves. I have been contradicted in my rs numerous times, denied, gaslighted and similarly I began to doubt myself... .

The Establishment of Guilt

Clifton's prisoners reported that a huge guilt complex was imposed upon them. In the end they believed that they deserved their punishment. It no longer had anything to do with the injustice of their captors, but rather that they believed that they should be punished. Apparently one of the important brainwashing techniques here is to make the person feel responsible for their faults and the things that go wrong. If they make a mistake, do something poorly, or if things do not go according to plan, it's their responsibility and so they feel guilty. Scary isn't it? That's exactly what happened to me. Another thing worth mentioning is that this is an effective brainswashing technique that works pretty much for everyone. i.e. coming back to a comment I made the other day on this topic. It may not be necessarily that there is something inherently wrong with your character or personality traits (I have a few things I need to work on) having been attracted or ended up in a rs with a BPD. It could simply be bad luck, e.g. you met her during a vulnerable period of your life (e.g. after a break with your previous partner) and so you were caught and imprisoned.

The Self-betrayal

During this stage the prisoners were expected to denounce friends and colleagues. And then their family and their previous standards. Any doubts or ambivalences they have (or had! for example, something minor about the political system of America they did not like or agree with) are played upon by their captors to increase the degree of self betrayal. This has the effect of separating them from the past and further destroying their sense of self. Here is when isolation from our support system and our friends came either through direct demands or by the rs constantly taking more and more of my time where I had no exposure to something healthy.

Breaking point: Total Conflict and the Basic Fear

At some point the prisoners realize that there is no way out from the horror and pain and guilt. They begin to experience one of the most primitive and painful emotions known to man, the fear of total annihilation. In fact, many wished for a quick death. Some even suffered delusions and hallucinations. Obviously their ability to think and reason at this stage was severely compromised. I had reached points where I thought I was hearing things e.g. my phone ringing, or the sound of text messages pretty much like a Pavlof's dog in primal fear.

Leniency and Opportunity

When the prisoners could literally take no more, all of a sudden there was leniency. A friendly face, a kind voice, an offer of a little luxury, a cigarette or a drink. For the prisoner, suddenly there is hope, a way out. This is intermitten reinforcement of reward. We have all been there. This is the pull aspect of the relationship.  "Just do as I want and you'll be okay." In order to avoid total annihilation, the prisoner becomes motivated to help his captors!

The Compulsion to confess

The prisoners typically confess to anything at first, saying what they think their captors want to hear and even inventing crimes. They feel they want to remove the evil from inside, the evil that makes their captors punish them. The confessions gather momentum, with the prisoners admitting to more and more. One of the brainwashing techniques used was to get prisoners to 'encourage' each other to confess. I have found myself taking blame and confessing for things I didn't believe that it was true (1st betrayal). This had the additional pain of having to go through the self-betrayal stage again + she would come as my saviour with leniency (kisses etc.) which I would deep down that it is not right but I would still accept it and it would feel as the double betrayal to myself in a row

The Channeling of guilt

The prisoners reported that instead of just feeling guilt for their past actions, they began to feel guilt for who they were and for the set of beliefs they had in the past. They realized that their point of view was different from that of their captors and the more they accepted their captors way of thinking, the more they felt guilty for who they were. This is when I start picking up fleas as one might call it. Start behaving like her in occasions irresponsibly, not accepting blame, getting angry with people for nothing and even adopting partially some views on matters that weren't really consistent with how I used to or how I view the world now.

Re-education: Logical Dishonoring

The next of the brainwashing techniques was to go beyond feeling guilty to understanding their lives as a series of shameful acts, not only because they did not fit in with communist ideas but also because they were violating their own personal ideals.

The idea is that each of us has a thesis, a personal creed or ethic, as well as it's antithesis, a weakness which contradicts or works against this ideal. The communists encouraged the antithesis and wore down the thesis of each individual. To some extent the antithesis is that part of us that we normally try to suppress (because we learnt it was socially unacceptable). As this aspect becomes more dominant the true identity becomes more suppressed.  The prisoner's weaknesses and strengths were known to his captors, and both were used against him to continually educate him in the new doctrine and reinforce the new personality.

The remaining stages can be found below for reference but I am not sure if they are applicable. I think that none of us would have been through those and be here to post in this forum. Also I think that BPDs are actually incapable to go through the stages below and finish the job. They are not like calculating psychopaths or ruthless manipulators that our there to achieve an ultimate goal. They are more like scared children, that have somehow naturally mastered this art up to this point.

I like to see the remaining stages as a good advice on what we can do to conclude the process for ourselves for the better and come out of it as new people.

Progress and harmony

As the prisoners continue to progress, the brainwashing techniques changed and they received recognition and acceptance and were treated as human beings again. Compared to earlier treatment the sense of harmony now is enough to motivate them to keep going.

Final confession

The prisoners confess one last time, for the record, so to speak. There may even be a solemn ceremony or a rite of passage. This time, however, it's the new identity speaking, and it's as if the new identity is describing the things in the confession as if they are personal discoveries. It's as if they are better people now for having overcome the 'problems' they had in the past.

Rebirth

The man is 'whole' again, but his reality is different, thoughts and values have shifted and the prisoner has a different relationship with the world. The brainwashing techniques here involve rewarding 'good behavior' and punishing the bad.

Release

Prisoners are allowed back into the world again but they have to deal with people who treat them as they were before, people who question their new ideas and beliefs and even question their new identity. (This was often very traumatic for the ex-prisoners.)

[freedom33]

The more I read about brainwashing techniques the more I see more and more resemblence to what happened to me. Robert Lifton has studied the American prisoners of war extensively and he outlines the process this way.

1. Assault on identity

2. The Establishment of Guilt

3. The Self-betrayal

4. Breaking point: Total Conflict and the Basic Fear

5. Leniency and Opportunity

6. The Compulsion to confess

7. The Channeling of guilt

8. Re-education: Logical Dishonoring

9. Progress and harmony

10. Final confession

11. Rebirth

12. Release

I quote below some of the text that I found on the topic and add some comments.

Assault on identity

The whole tactic here is to create confusion and doubt in one self and one's mental abilities to assess the situation effectively. This is where one's judgement begins to cloud. We have all been there. The American prisoners were abused and tortured while everything they said was contradicted. Fairly quickly, they began to doubt themselves. I have been contradicted in my rs numerous times, denied, gaslighted and similarly I began to doubt myself... .

The Establishment of Guilt

Clifton's prisoners reported that a huge guilt complex was imposed upon them. In the end they believed that they deserved their punishment. It no longer had anything to do with the injustice of their captors, but rather that they believed that they should be punished. Apparently one of the important brainwashing techniques here is to make the person feel responsible for their faults and the things that go wrong. If they make a mistake, do something poorly, or if things do not go according to plan, it's their responsibility and so they feel guilty. Scary isn't it? That's exactly what happened to me. Another thing worth mentioning is that this is an effective brainswashing technique that works pretty much for everyone. i.e. coming back to a comment I made the other day on this topic. It may not be necessarily that there is something inherently wrong with your character or personality traits (I have a few things I need to work on) having been attracted or ended up in a rs with a BPD. It could simply be bad luck, e.g. you met her during a vulnerable period of your life (e.g. after a break with your previous partner) and so you were caught and imprisoned.

The Self-betrayal

During this stage the prisoners were expected to denounce friends and colleagues. And then their family and their previous standards. Any doubts or ambivalences they have (or had! for example, something minor about the political system of America they did not like or agree with) are played upon by their captors to increase the degree of self betrayal. This has the effect of separating them from the past and further destroying their sense of self. Here is when isolation from our support system and our friends came either through direct demands or by the rs constantly taking more and more of my time where I had no exposure to something healthy.

Breaking point: Total Conflict and the Basic Fear

At some point the prisoners realize that there is no way out from the horror and pain and guilt. They begin to experience one of the most primitive and painful emotions known to man, the fear of total annihilation. In fact, many wished for a quick death. Some even suffered delusions and hallucinations. Obviously their ability to think and reason at this stage was severely compromised. I had reached points where I thought I was hearing things e.g. my phone ringing, or the sound of text messages pretty much like a Pavlof's dog in primal fear.

Leniency and Opportunity

When the prisoners could literally take no more, all of a sudden there was leniency. A friendly face, a kind voice, an offer of a little luxury, a cigarette or a drink. For the prisoner, suddenly there is hope, a way out. This is intermitten reinforcement of reward. We have all been there. This is the pull aspect of the relationship.  "Just do as I want and you'll be okay." In order to avoid total annihilation, the prisoner becomes motivated to help his captors!

The Compulsion to confess

The prisoners typically confess to anything at first, saying what they think their captors want to hear and even inventing crimes. They feel they want to remove the evil from inside, the evil that makes their captors punish them. The confessions gather momentum, with the prisoners admitting to more and more. One of the brainwashing techniques used was to get prisoners to 'encourage' each other to confess. I have found myself taking blame and confessing for things I didn't believe that it was true (1st betrayal). This had the additional pain of having to go through the self-betrayal stage again + she would come as my saviour with leniency (kisses etc.) which I would deep down that it is not right but I would still accept it and it would feel as the double betrayal to myself in a row

The Channeling of guilt

The prisoners reported that instead of just feeling guilt for their past actions, they began to feel guilt for who they were and for the set of beliefs they had in the past. They realized that their point of view was different from that of their captors and the more they accepted their captors way of thinking, the more they felt guilty for who they were. This is when I start picking up fleas as one might call it. Start behaving like her in occasions irresponsibly, not accepting blame, getting angry with people for nothing and even adopting partially some views on matters that weren't really consistent with how I used to or how I view the world now.

Re-education: Logical Dishonoring

The next of the brainwashing techniques was to go beyond feeling guilty to understanding their lives as a series of shameful acts, not only because they did not fit in with communist ideas but also because they were violating their own personal ideals.

The idea is that each of us has a thesis, a personal creed or ethic, as well as it's antithesis, a weakness which contradicts or works against this ideal. The communists encouraged the antithesis and wore down the thesis of each individual. To some extent the antithesis is that part of us that we normally try to suppress (because we learnt it was socially unacceptable). As this aspect becomes more dominant the true identity becomes more suppressed.  The prisoner's weaknesses and strengths were known to his captors, and both were used against him to continually educate him in the new doctrine and reinforce the new personality.

The remaining stages can be found below for reference but I am not sure if they are applicable. I think that none of us would have been through those and be here to post in this forum. Also I think that BPDs are actually incapable to go through the stages below and finish the job. They are not like calculating psychopaths or ruthless manipulators that our there to achieve an ultimate goal. They are more like scared children, that have somehow naturally mastered this art up to this point.

I like to see the remaining stages as a good advice on what we can do to conclude the process for ourselves for the better and come out of it as new people.

Progress and harmony

As the prisoners continue to progress, the brainwashing techniques changed and they received recognition and acceptance and were treated as human beings again. Compared to earlier treatment the sense of harmony now is enough to motivate them to keep going.

Final confession

The prisoners confess one last time, for the record, so to speak. There may even be a solemn ceremony or a rite of passage. This time, however, it's the new identity speaking, and it's as if the new identity is describing the things in the confession as if they are personal discoveries. It's as if they are better people now for having overcome the 'problems' they had in the past.

Rebirth

The man is 'whole' again, but his reality is different, thoughts and values have shifted and the prisoner has a different relationship with the world. The brainwashing techniques here involve rewarding 'good behavior' and punishing the bad.

Release

Prisoners are allowed back into the world again but they have to deal with people who treat them as they were before, people who question their new ideas and beliefs and even question their new identity. (This was often very traumatic for the ex-prisoners.)

[thereishope]

Okay... .so after just posting a response in another thread about how I've continued to be "stuck" because of not being able to convince my mind that BPD truths I've been experiencing are BIGGER than the "love" I feel from uBPDh during his times of splitting white (some really really kind, romantic, giving, loving investments in my direction during these times... .)... .

... .This article pretty much takes the wind out of the sails of my ship of confusion.  Who could argue with this?  I have experienced every one of these points... .and the last few is actually my spirit trying to resurface and fight for ME! 

I am a Christian, and even though my uBPDh has definitely been skilled at the things mentioned in this article, it has continuously "struck a wrong chord" with me along the way... .and I would never be able to fully submit to absolute control by another person... .God is my LORD, not a man who is trying to brainwash me into submission... .My spirit has been wrestling with the whole thing... .

I really need to reread this a few times... .I'm actually gonna cut and paste it to refer back to later... .I'm desperately trying to come out of the FOG, and I believe this will help a great deal.  Thank you so much for sharing it. 

Grace and peace to you.

[LettingGo14]

Interesting perspective.  You may find the book below helpful to read as well, as Patrick Carnes puts in terms of relationships.  Discussion of book here:  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=77344.0


The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships

by Patrick Carnes Ph.D.



About the Book

Exploitative relationships can create trauma bonds—chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. Divorce, employee relations, litigation of any type, incest and child abuse, family and marital systems, domestic violence, hostage negotiations, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. All these relationships share one thing: they are situations of incredible intensity or importance where there is an exploitation of trust or power.

In The Betrayal Bond, Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships, why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships.

About the Author

Patrick J. Carnes is known as an expert on addiction and recovery issues. He is the author of Out of the Shadows, Contrary to Love, A Gentle Path Through the 12 Steps and Don't Call It Love. He is the clinical director for sexual disorder services at The Meadows in Wickenburg, Arizona. Carnes is the editor-in-chief of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention, the official journal of the National Council of Sexual Addiction/Compulsivity, an organization for which he also serves as a board member. He also serves on the national advisory board of the American Academy of Health Care Providers in the Addictive Disorders.

Book Review

What really helped me with this book is to understand why I was addicted to abusive types of relationships and why I kept going back for more. I kept trying to make my ubPDm love me and kept on trying pleasing her, hoping she would change. I kept going back after each abuse, forgetting and acting like it never happened. This book also explain the Karpman drama triangle very well. I recommend this book to everyone who have been in an enmeshed relationships at one point. Enmeshed relationships can create trauma bonds--chains that link us to someone who is problematic.

Pub. Date: November 1997

Publisher: Health Communications, Incorporated

Format: Paperback, 250pp

Sales Rank: 33,824

ISBN-13: 9781558745261

ISBN: 1558745262

[freedom33]

You are welcome thereishope. Glad you found it useful!

[vortex of confusion]

Wow, this is so very eye opening! I definitely want to follow this thread.

[thereishope]

Wow, this is so very eye opening! I definitely want to follow this thread.

I have used the words of your name to describe my situation with uBPDh at times... ."vortex of confusion"

[Loveofhislife]

Thereishope: indeed there is; love the name. Freedom--love the reference material: so refreshing amidst the status quo. One thing I know is that at least I made it very difficult for my captor as did my great grandfather who was eventually expelled from a POW camp for being so obnoxious. My uncle nearly died in a POW camp in WWII; he was never the same when he returned home. We all have risk and resilience factors; my FOO helped to forge both as did my DNA. My exBPDbf never made me question who I am; I did that. I've had a very strong sense of identity, but that has been my false self. My greatest resilience factor, thereishope, has been my faith, because no one could separate me/split me from God. Though my exBPDbf tried to make himself a god over me. In the end, this captive continues to try to break free from a bondage I consciously chose over freedom. As we hear in a patriotic context; freedom isn't free. It's gonna be hard work, but this captive is ready!

[freedom33]

Hey Loveofhislife - I like the longer horizon perspective you bring and I can relate to quite challenging FOO in my lifetime but also from a family history perspective. POW concentration camps and uprooting were central parts in my family's history and these events are probably engrained in my DNA today and as you say creating deep risk factors. Do you have any material you can suggest on this?

[thereishope]

Thereishope: indeed there is; love the name. Freedom--love the reference material: so refreshing amidst the status quo. One thing I know is that at least I made it very difficult for my captor as did my great grandfather who was eventually expelled from a POW camp for being so obnoxious. My uncle nearly died in a POW camp in WWII; he was never the same when he returned home. We all have risk and resilience factors; my FOO helped to forge both as did my DNA. My exBPDbf never made me question who I am; I did that. I've had a very strong sense of identity, but that has been my false self. My greatest resilience factor, thereishope, has been my faith, because no one could separate me/split me from God. Though my exBPDbf tried to make himself a god over me. In the end, this captive continues to try to break free from a bondage I consciously chose over freedom. As we hear in a patriotic context; freedom isn't free. It's gonna be hard work, but this captive is ready!

I agree with you wholeheartedly.  uBPDh COULD NOT split me from God, and that is what has allowed me to keep my "sanity" (if you can call it that   )... .  Because of the LORD, uBPDh just COULD NOT prove to me that I am as unacceptable, unworthy, and condemnation-worthy as his BPD wants to say that I am.  After all, THERE IS THEREFORE NOW NOO CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS!  Can't really argue with that now, can we? 

Thanks for your insights!

[michel71]

Incredible insight. Thank you for that! I am going to read your post over and over again!