I am one day after confronting and having myself raged on by this BPD gal. I still miss her touch and holding her. How do I get that off my mind because I have noone else and it makes me incredibly sad. Sometimes I wonder if that truly isnt a weakness. I know it is over and accept that but I want to make the transition away from her and to a new relationship as soon as possible. Because frankly at 50 im getting too old and need to be with someone who cares about me, not a two faced lunatic. That is what made me fall for her and she knew that and targeted me for it I believe.
When I came to this community, I felt like an addict, wanting just another "fix" from my ex-girlfriend. My brain magnified what it remembered as good, and diminished what it found bad. I felt traumatized, and reactive, and even like a victim.
Learning about BPD allowed me to "let go" of the notion that I could have fixed anything. I also let go of the notion that I was victimized. What happened, happened.
The stages in the right hand column, under the heading "Attachment Leads to Suffering, Detachment Leads to Freedom" is a process for healing. You can click it for more information. You might also want to read
Surviving a Breakup with Someone Suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder - 10 Beliefs That Can Get You StuckI don't have a precise answer, except to say that we start where we are. We can (and will, and do) hold onto our pain for various reasons. But, then we stop holding onto our pain, and we figure out who we are, and what we want. And the addiction is broken. But, it's a process, and it can be painful.
