My questions are:
1. Has it come full circle? I never expected contacted ever again. I made it clear I never wanted to be contacted.
2. Was her breakdown at work related to the fact that life has moved on and our family moved on without her and we're mourning without her?
3. I am angry because she felt that she was able to speak to my family. She has been told not to by several people. I want her out of our lives for good but not sure what to do. I think that is impossible at this point but my anger is not subsiding.
4. Her drug dealer boyfriend has been caught poaching clients off another dealers turf. I think the money is hard to come by. Is the honeymoon over?
I would appreciate any insight to any of these questions. Thanks.
1. It only ever comes full circle if you let it. She may reach out periodically to you for the rest of your lives. But if you don't let it, it won't ever be more than that.
2. That could be it. Or it could be the fact that pwBPD can't properly control their emotions, so something that would be sort of sad to most of us (like the death of someone we only knew in passing), is absolutely devastating to her. My ex had this reaction a lot. Nothing is a little bit sad to her (Hand to God, I saw her cry over a television commercial once). The problem is, you're never going to know without talking to her, which is probably something you're better off not doing. My suggestion is just chalking this one up to disordered behavior and letting it go.
3. The bad news is, I don't know there is really anything you can do about this. You can send her an e-mail requesting that she not contact any of your relatives, but realistically I don't think it's going to stop her. If she walks up to one of your family members and says "Hi", it's really up to your family member to tell her to go away. The good news is, this doesn't mean she's back in your life, anymore than some stranger saying "Hello" to you on the street is part of your life. She'll only be a part of you and your families lives if you let her in.
4. If things are getting rocky there's probably a good chance the honeymoon will be over soon, if it already isn't. But does it really matter? She's not your problem anymore. Maybe her relationship is falling apart, maybe it's doing just fine. Either way, it's not your issue unless you want it to be. Once again, the only way to know for sure is to ask her, which I'm pretty sure you don't really want to do.
Keep doing what you're doing. If you can't handle dealing with her, stay NC, and focus on moving forward with your life. If you're close geographically, inevitably there's going to be chance encounters between you or your family and her. It's completely up to you if that's all they are going to be or not. Stay Strong.
