Does anybody else do this?

[jammo1989]

Why is it, that i know my ex had moved on, but i still feel the need to obsessively check her facebook? I know i would NEVER go back there ever, so why the hell do i do this when i know i wouldnt go back? I almost gamble my emotions on a daily basis, like thursday night i saw on her bfs FB he posted something like, you need to stop pushing me away, because once im gone, im gone, why would i try to make you jealous when your mine! He was at hers at the time of posting it, and soon deleted it in case she saw it.  I felt amazing after reading that, felt the most intense adrenaline i have ever felt, its like all my suppressed emotions over the past 2 months came out and i couldnt stop smiling.  Then today i looked and she posted xmas decorations, and was saying how her and her bf were taking all the decorations down stairs, i then felt pretty ___! And i dont even know why because like i said before i wouldnt ever go back to her. 

[justmenmycoffee]

Guilty and i really really need to stop its like picking a scab

[jammo1989]

Guilty and i really really need to stop its like picking a scab

I feel like my mood revolves around how shes feeling, like her best mates ex posted on her wall today saying how so many people tell him how ugly she is inside and out, and i felt so happy, because he was denting her ego, and putting her down, shes very drama based, so then posted a status saying, trying to pick a fight with me because of my looks... .Thanks! Im lucky right now, shes been with this new guy 2 and a half months, and their yet to post a picture together, i find that a little weird 2bh.

[shellbent]

Guilty and i really really need to stop its like picking a scab

I feel like my mood revolves around how shes feeling, like her best mates ex posted on her wall today saying how so many people tell him how ugly she is inside and out, and i felt so happy, because he was denting her ego, and putting her down, shes very drama based, so then posted a status saying, trying to pick a fight with me because of my looks... .Thanks! Im lucky right now, shes been with this new guy 2 and a half months, and their yet to post a picture together, i find that a little weird 2bh.

I have my exes posts in my news feed, but I stopped visiting her page frequently.

There was a time when I think I went 2 weeks, now I might check it once a week.

Lately I have been a lot more detached so seeing stuff doesn't bother me as much.

Otherwise generally I see her at work everyday but I mean what else can I do when I feel sick to my stomach and just want to get out of there.

For me it is getting even easier that she is going after someone else now.

I was very stubborn and I didn't want to let go of something that made me feel so much better. I feel like that trust I had is gone now. It is risky to even tell her something personal. But while I was writing this I noticed, that somehow I get joy from even being close to her. Even though it is mighty painful to see her going about laughing having a good time and ignoring me.

She told me that it was not a good situation that we work together.

So if I found out that she was leaving the company, I think I would feel completely annihilated. Where did that feeling just come from suddenly.

We are walking on dangerously thin ice. I yet have to find the sure way to move on, but it is taking time. Maybe you would take her back, are you just telling yourself you don't want her back? Or are you vindictive and want to see her rs fail. Maybe we both want validation that the bu wasn't our fault.

[jammo1989]

Guilty and i really really need to stop its like picking a scab

I feel like my mood revolves around how shes feeling, like her best mates ex posted on her wall today saying how so many people tell him how ugly she is inside and out, and i felt so happy, because he was denting her ego, and putting her down, shes very drama based, so then posted a status saying, trying to pick a fight with me because of my looks... .Thanks! Im lucky right now, shes been with this new guy 2 and a half months, and their yet to post a picture together, i find that a little weird 2bh.

I have my exes posts in my news feed, but I stopped visiting her page frequently.

There was a time when I think I went 2 weeks, now I might check it once a week.

Lately I have been a lot more detached so seeing stuff doesn't bother me as much.

Otherwise generally I see her at work everyday but I mean what else can I do when I feel sick to my stomach and just want to get out of there.

For me it is getting even easier that she is going after someone else now.

I was very stubborn and I didn't want to let go of something that made me feel so much better. I feel like that trust I had is gone now. It is risky to even tell her something personal. But while I was writing this I noticed, that somehow I get joy from even being close to her. Even though it is mighty painful to see her going about laughing having a good time and ignoring me.

She told me that it was not a good situation that we work together.

So if I found out that she was leaving the company, I think I would feel completely annihilated. Where did that feeling just come from suddenly.

We are walking on dangerously thin ice. I yet have to find the sure way to move on, but it is taking time. Maybe you would take her back, are you just telling yourself you don't want her back? Or are you vindictive and want to see her rs fail. Maybe we both want validation that the bu wasn't our fault.

I gave my ex the world, literally spent 1000s over y 2 year relationship, i treated her children like my own, they loved me, she then wanted another baby, and that was her trigger she cried for weeks, then made out she was pregnant (which she wasnt) made up she had an abortion, told her 6 year old son i was an evil person, and then got guilt tripped with texts saying i killed our baby (made her have an abortion) it was all a lie, she then finishes it and becomes FB official with my replacment the day after.  I cant and dont want her back, she blocked me on fb and even blocked my mobile number for no reason what so ever.  I want her relationship to fail, so i can think to myself you threw away something so good.  Shes now 2 months into a relationship with a boy racer who lives at home with his mum and has just finished college, such a downgrade :/

[clydegriffith]

You ever heard the phrase "people go to a car race in hopes of seeing a crash"? Well that explains why i check up on her social media from time to time. I can't help but to be curious as to when the next disaster will happen.

I also think it may be useful to save the pictures shes posts of each replacement with my daughter. We're on 3 now.

I'm thinking that may help in Family Court when it gets to that point. 

[jammo1989]

You ever heard the phrase "people go to a car race in hopes of seeing a crash"? Well that explains why i check up on her social media from time to time. I can't help but to be curious as to when the next disaster will happen.

I also think it may be useful to save the pictures shes posts of each replacement with my daughter. We're on 3 now.

I'm thinking that may help in Family Court when it gets to that point. 

Its disgusting mate isnt it? She has 2 children and shes 24, her daughter is 3 and her son is 6, their not my kids, but wow did i love them!  I spent a year in their life, and then boom! She tells her son im evil, and tells her 3 year old that im naughty, and ive been wiped out of there, she even text me and told me a month into her new replacements my ex tells me my daughter asks for you every day.  The day after she dumped me this new guy was at hers, i feel so sorry for her kids, her daughter is going to grow up hating men, and i hate my ex for that.  If shes only 3 shes going to see over 10 men sleeping in her bed by the time shes 16, it makes me so angry!

[clydegriffith]

You ever heard the phrase "people go to a car race in hopes of seeing a crash"? Well that explains why i check up on her social media from time to time. I can't help but to be curious as to when the next disaster will happen.

I also think it may be useful to save the pictures shes posts of each replacement with my daughter. We're on 3 now.

I'm thinking that may help in Family Court when it gets to that point. 

Its disgusting mate isnt it? She has 2 children and shes 24, her daughter is 3 and her son is 6, their not my kids, but wow did i love them!  I spent a year in their life, and then boom! She tells her son im evil, and tells her 3 year old that im naughty, and ive been wiped out of there, she even text me and told me a month into her new replacements my ex tells me my daughter asks for you every day.  The day after she dumped me this new guy was at hers, i feel so sorry for her kids, her daughter is going to grow up hating men, and i hate my ex for that.  If shes only 3 shes going to see over 10 men sleeping in her bed by the time shes 16, it makes me so angry!

Same story here. She had two other young children when i was with her, 3 and 4 years and my daughter was still an infant. She coached her 3 and 4 year olds to say "Clyde hit Mommy" and that "Clyde's a bad man". They would repeat these things when she called the police and fabricated abuse charges. I'm lucky not to be in jail right now.

I think my BPDx had all these kids (we're on 4 by 3 different guys now) because it's easier to control and maniplate people when children are involved. If she didn't have my daughter i would have been long gone after the first few incidents.

[jammo1989]

You ever heard the phrase "people go to a car race in hopes of seeing a crash"? Well that explains why i check up on her social media from time to time. I can't help but to be curious as to when the next disaster will happen.

I also think it may be useful to save the pictures shes posts of each replacement with my daughter. We're on 3 now.

I'm thinking that may help in Family Court when it gets to that point. 

Its disgusting mate isnt it? She has 2 children and shes 24, her daughter is 3 and her son is 6, their not my kids, but wow did i love them!  I spent a year in their life, and then boom! She tells her son im evil, and tells her 3 year old that im naughty, and ive been wiped out of there, she even text me and told me a month into her new replacements my ex tells me my daughter asks for you every day.  The day after she dumped me this new guy was at hers, i feel so sorry for her kids, her daughter is going to grow up hating men, and i hate my ex for that.  If shes only 3 shes going to see over 10 men sleeping in her bed by the time shes 16, it makes me so angry!

Same story here. She had two other young children when i was with her, 3 and 4 years and my daughter was still an infant. She coached her 3 and 4 year olds to say "Clyde hit Mommy" and that "Clyde's a bad man". They would repeat these things when she called the police and fabricated abuse charges. I'm lucky not to be in jail right now.

I think my BPDx had all these kids (we're on 4 by 3 different guys now) because it's easier to control and maniplate people when children are involved. If she didn't have my daughter i would have been long gone after the first few incidents.

Wow man thats ridicolous! Getting them to repeat to repeat that  we cant go back to them for the kids sake, it wouldnt be fair on them if we ever walked back into their lives the damage has already been done.  All i see is drama from my ex right now, and shes deffinitely in her honeymoon stage saying things to the new guy like you love me then? Reasurance, cant wait for it to go down hill, the way they just forget and cut you out is one of the hardest things to understand.

[Climbmountains91]

I am guilty as charged, it's ridiculous. I check at least 3/5 times a day. He doesn't really put much on Facebook apart from a photo with him and his friend looking two close for comfort while he was out of his face. And a status about drinking the pain away. Other than that it's things either about war, politics or growing tobacco leaves in his place. Why do I bother. It's like touching fire and you know it's gonna burn but for some strange reason you keep touching it anyway. :/

[pieceofme]

I am guilty as charged, it's ridiculous. I check at least 3/5 times a day. He doesn't really put much on Facebook apart from a photo with him and his friend looking two close for comfort while he was out of his face. And a status about drinking the pain away. Other than that it's things either about war, politics or growing tobacco leaves in his place. Why do I bother. It's like touching fire and you know it's gonna burn but for some strange reason you keep touching it anyway. :/

same. i check my ex's twitter and instagram. it's like a trainwreck from which i cannot look away. it's the equivalent of self-harm, but i can't stop my compulsion.

[Blimblam]

Why is it, that i know my ex had moved on, but i still feel the need to obsessively check her facebook? I know i would NEVER go back there ever, so why the hell do i do this when i know i wouldnt go back? I almost gamble my emotions on a daily basis, like thursday night i saw on her bfs FB he posted something like, you need to stop pushing me away, because once im gone, im gone, why would i try to make you jealous when your mine! He was at hers at the time of posting it, and soon deleted it in case she saw it.  I felt amazing after reading that, felt the most intense adrenaline i have ever felt, its like all my suppressed emotions over the past 2 months came out and i couldnt stop smiling.  Then today i looked and she posted xmas decorations, and was saying how her and her bf were taking all the decorations down stairs, i then felt pretty ___! And i dont even know why because like i said before i wouldnt ever go back to her. 

I did this a lot and it hurt me badly very badly.

[jammo1989]

I am guilty as charged, it's ridiculous. I check at least 3/5 times a day. He doesn't really put much on Facebook apart from a photo with him and his friend looking two close for comfort while he was out of his face. And a status about drinking the pain away. Other than that it's things either about war, politics or growing tobacco leaves in his place. Why do I bother. It's like touching fire and you know it's gonna burn but for some strange reason you keep touching it anyway. :/

We really need to fight the urge, instead of looking, post on the forum, my ex hasnt posted a picture of her and the replacment yet, but they do say love you to eachother as statuses which we HAVE to remember is fake! Its not love remember that! Im not an expert, but her and the new guy both had their profiles set to private, up untill a few days ago, they have now both set them to open, im guessing this is her being controlling over him, she also got the new guy to delete my only mutual friend with him (explain that one) we look for cracks we want to see them fail, just in the hope the MAY reach out, we then get our ego back by completly ignoring them.  We are just like them right now, we want them to chase so we can replenish our lost egos, then after rejecting them we will feel as if we finally have control over them.

[jammo1989]

Why is it, that i know my ex had moved on, but i still feel the need to obsessively check her facebook? I know i would NEVER go back there ever, so why the hell do i do this when i know i wouldnt go back? I almost gamble my emotions on a daily basis, like thursday night i saw on her bfs FB he posted something like, you need to stop pushing me away, because once im gone, im gone, why would i try to make you jealous when your mine! He was at hers at the time of posting it, and soon deleted it in case she saw it.  I felt amazing after reading that, felt the most intense adrenaline i have ever felt, its like all my suppressed emotions over the past 2 months came out and i couldnt stop smiling.  Then today i looked and she posted xmas decorations, and was saying how her and her bf were taking all the decorations down stairs, i then felt pretty ___! And i dont even know why because like i said before i wouldnt ever go back to her. 

I did this a lot and it hurt me badly very badly.

Hey Blimblam, your a smart guy, you know just like i do they werent meant for us, the woman you marry should resemble the same traits as your mother (if you had a good upbringing) we were there crutch, they used us to walk so far in life, then the crutch broke from all the pressure, they were putting on us, she fell to the floor without the crutch (you) so the only way she could get up and start walking again was to find a new one.  What we need to remember is, just because its a new crutch doesnt mean it cant break, it just depends how much she uses it (wear and tear). So, why do we want to be the crutch they rest on? A healthy relationship doesnt need a crutch that gets pushed to the ground after every stride they take, a healthy relationship needs 2 people that love not need!

[Blimblam]

Why is it, that i know my ex had moved on, but i still feel the need to obsessively check her facebook? I know i would NEVER go back there ever, so why the hell do i do this when i know i wouldnt go back? I almost gamble my emotions on a daily basis, like thursday night i saw on her bfs FB he posted something like, you need to stop pushing me away, because once im gone, im gone, why would i try to make you jealous when your mine! He was at hers at the time of posting it, and soon deleted it in case she saw it.  I felt amazing after reading that, felt the most intense adrenaline i have ever felt, its like all my suppressed emotions over the past 2 months came out and i couldnt stop smiling.  Then today i looked and she posted xmas decorations, and was saying how her and her bf were taking all the decorations down stairs, i then felt pretty ___! And i dont even know why because like i said before i wouldnt ever go back to her.  

I did this a lot and it hurt me badly very badly.

Hey Blimblam, your a smart guy, you know just like i do they werent meant for us, the woman you marry should resemble the same traits as your mother (if you had a good upbringing) we were there crutch, they used us to walk so far in life, then the crutch broke from all the pressure, they were putting on us, she fell to the floor without the crutch (you) so the only way she could get up and start walking again was to find a new one.  What we need to remember is, just because its a new crutch doesnt mean it cant break, it just depends how much she uses it (wear and tear). So, why do we want to be the crutch they rest on? A healthy relationship doesnt need a crutch that gets pushed to the ground after every stride they take, a healthy relationship needs 2 people that love not need!

She became my crutch too. I came to depend on her to see the good in myself.

If you look at natural resource allocation  in society you will see the same thing. Crutches are everywhere. I use this forum as a crutch for now. My tobacco addiction is a crutch also. Some kid in the third world I use as a crutch and that's why I have this phone. Something somewhere had to die and suffer So I could be Alive. Interdependence is natural but requires honesty and integrity to be healthy.

[Deeno02]

You need to stop... .now. As much as I want to, when i got dumped, i dumped her from email, text, Snapchat, instagram and FB. I dont want to know. Thd pain im in now is unbearable without seeing her crap. Now my neighbors have told me that shes taken to walking the dog past my house... .what the heck. bad enough i have to see her when she coaches my son. Enough is enough.

[clydegriffith]

While it does hurt me to see her post of pictures of my daughter with replacement after replacement, i very much look forward to when it all falls apart. I know it's wrong of me but it makes me very happy . What i really wonder is what her family thinks of all this because they don't really tell me. When she was with me and the guy before she was some 8 hours from her hometown so they couldn't see it for themselves. She is now pulling the same nonsensen there so they have to see that i wasn't the one lying.

[peiper]

I do, I think Im looking for validation that what happened to me is going to happen to the new guy. There's always a little hope that I'll see some sign of trouble. I think to prove to myself she is a nut.

[drummerboy]

I don't, simply because I don't care and because whatever she put on their is like everyone else on FB, it's what they want people to believe about them. We all do it. You could be in the depths of despair but post a happy comment and everyone will think you're doing great. FB brings out the narrcisist in us. "Look at me, how great am I"

So what your ex is posting on FB may or may not have anything to do with how they are really feeling. Looking at their FB page means you still really care and haven't let go.

[Tater tot]

I do, I think Im looking for validation that what happened to me is going to happen to the new guy. There's always a little hope that I'll see some sign of trouble. I think to prove to myself she is a nut.

I agree, I want validation that they are going to repeat that pattern. It's completely unhealthy, but I just can't stop myself... .it's a work in progress

[pieceofme]

I do, I think Im looking for validation that what happened to me is going to happen to the new guy. There's always a little hope that I'll see some sign of trouble. I think to prove to myself she is a nut.

I agree, I want validation that they are going to repeat that pattern. It's completely unhealthy, but I just can't stop myself... .it's a work in progress

EXACTLY THIS! also in hopes i can prove to myself i'm not the crazy one once and for all.

[peiper]

This is a good read, middle of the page https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?action=profile;u=38193;sa=showPosts;start=180

[Nomad1027]

I did this for two months after the break up. I found myself looking for clues, trying to see if she missed me, and follow what was going on in her life.

On Sept. 2, I saw a new post saying she was in love with the replacement. It shook what little progress I had made and I found myself twisted up into knots.

That was the last day I looked at her social media pages. It has now been 48 days since I last looked at her pages, and 77 days since we last communicated.  It was very hard at first and not a day passes when I don't get an itch to peek. But I don't. I don't do it because it will just take me backwards in my healing.  I have come to realize that I will never get any validation from her or the status of her current relationships.  Now, approaching 2 months since I learned of the replacement, I am no longer in constant pain, nor am I thinking obsessively about her.

TOTAL NC is the best gift I gave to myself in this whole mess. I have a ways to go yet, but the ever-present pain isn't present now.

[lm911]

Why is it, that i know my ex had moved on, but i still feel the need to obsessively check her facebook? I know i would NEVER go back there ever, so why the hell do i do this when i know i wouldnt go back? I almost gamble my emotions on a daily basis, like thursday night i saw on her bfs FB he posted something like, you need to stop pushing me away, because once im gone, im gone, why would i try to make you jealous when your mine! He was at hers at the time of posting it, and soon deleted it in case she saw it.  I felt amazing after reading that, felt the most intense adrenaline i have ever felt, its like all my suppressed emotions over the past 2 months came out and i couldnt stop smiling.  Then today i looked and she posted xmas decorations, and was saying how her and her bf were taking all the decorations down stairs, i then felt pretty ___! And i dont even know why because like i said before i wouldnt ever go back to her.  

You are not alone, I am in the same situation. The adrenaline you are talking about is amazing. Sadly we are addicts. We get high when we see something that suit us. The good part is that we are not contacting her and not begging her to come back with us. We will just have to stop check fb, this is the last phrase of the detachment.

[drummerboy]

Yep, the last stage is simply not caring. I now think of the r/s was just one big fraud with a sad, scared, very damaged little girl. This family has helped so much in getting there.

[Tater tot]

I did this for two months after the break up. I found myself looking for clues, trying to see if she missed me, and follow what was going on in her life.

On Sept. 2, I saw a new post saying she was in love with the replacement. It shook what little progress I had made and I found myself twisted up into knots.

That was the last day I looked at her social media pages. It has now been 48 days since I last looked at her pages, and 77 days since we last communicated.  It was very hard at first and not a day passes when I don't get an itch to peek. But I don't. I don't do it because it will just take me backwards in my healing.  I have come to realize that I will never get any validation from her or the status of her current relationships.  Now, approaching 2 months since I learned of the replacement, I am no longer in constant pain, nor am I thinking obsessively about her.

TOTAL NC is the best gift I gave to myself in this whole mess. I have a ways to go yet, but the ever-present pain isn't present now.

Nomad- i'm using this as both motivation and inspiration. Question- did you block her on social media, or just practice will power to not check. I wish mine was in a relationship, or some indication that he's moved on, it would make it easier.