punishment and revenge

[debyt]

I am planning to go out of town for a two day trip next week and a three day trip in two weeks due to my work.  My BPD husband is experiencing abandonment issues and we had it out last night over the fact that I didn't call him back or text him to let him know I got his call regarding him being last to a Halloween party.  I didn't take my phone in for the party since I knew he was running late.  The whole thing got blown way out of proportion.  I explained why I didn't call.  He knew that me and the kids were going to be at the church and had already planned to meet us there anyway, regardless of the time.  He says I was being disrespectful.  I don't see it that way.  I just didn't feel the need to return the call to say "I got your call. See ya there.".  He says I am acting like a child and if I am going to act like one that he will change the locks while I am gone.  I replied that I don't care what he does, I have to go on this trip and if that is what he is going to do, then ok.

#1 Was I disrespectful?

#2 I see this as the ramp up for the two trips.

Any suggestions as how to deal with all of this.  I get sick of this every time I have to go out of town (twice a year, maybe three)

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.