Caught off guard

My uBPDxbf and I broke up a few weeks ago. It's complicated, as all BPD r/s's are. We are staying friends and still work together which is why I am on the staying board. We don't work in the same office, but we are part of the same organization. Today he showed up at a monthly meeting. He walked over to me in a friendly, almost flirty manner, and shook my hand. It was... .awkward.

I don't get how easily he could pretend to be so "normal" in public and act like he didn't just dump me, or dump all his suicidal ideation on me? Did he forget? Did his depression momentarily lift?

Every time I looked up there he was, staring my way, smiling when he saw me. I kept looking away. I was polite and professional, but he caught me off guard because I didn't know I'd see him today. He emailed this morning saying he wasn't going to be there, then showed up anyway. There wasn't any need for him to come. He hasn't been to meetings in months. So why today? See if I'm a wreck? Keep me off-balance?

I know pwBPD don't mean to play head games, but this sure felt like one.



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