Mine successfully broke no contact today (again) blindsiding me in a manner which I couldn't fend the call off. I answered and it was her.
She sounded depressed and upset and had a rather pathetic excuse to be calling me (obviously a made up reason)
I acted indifferent but not rude and got off the phone within a matter of seconds.
After a while the worry kicked in. I know her personal situation isn't going well but she sounded pathetic on the phone, honestly like a scared kid. Gone was the abusive rage monster, this was like a lost puppy just pathetic and weak. And I felt like an ass for being short with her.
My natural instinct was to ask her if she was ok but I fought the urge.
I just worry because she does have suicidal ID and is a vulnerable person and it's like what if I got a call tomorrow and she's killed herself and that call was a cry for help and I just blew her off.
I know I shouldn't think this way but honestly the way she sounded just haunted me and even though she's done a lot of bad stuff to me I know she's always hurting and half the time wants to die.
I just can't help but worry, chances are she's at home cuddling my replacement but who knows.
If there is a replacement then let him worry, has she family and other people in her life?
I think many of us here have dealt with suicide threats and unf some people here have had those threats actualised but what you need to realise is that she is not your business anymore. I don't know how it ended but sounds like she left you, that was her choice and in my exp, I've had these threats and been deeply worried, turned up and she is laughing with people watching the tv. I believe when they exp these feelings they are intense and often short lived, you drop everything and they act like nothing happened and you are crazy for being worried, that behaviour pattern used to drive me mad. It's called push/pull and it is classic BPD. Even if you got that call tomorrow you are not responsible for her and her mental health only yours and your state of mind, and now... .You're worried. Depending on the relationship you have with anyone she knows you could voice your concerns to them. But in the end, she has a 'replacement', now it's their deal, you've done your best.
