Today is hard?

[billypilgrim]

I have no idea why.  But today has been very difficult.  There's nothing really all that special about today in regards to the r/s.  Perhaps I'm just filtering back into the depressed stage of the grieving process.  But there's just not much that I can get excited about today and I find myself being consumed by thoughts of her.  It's really a twisted process and I do hope tomorrow proves to be easier.  I feel like I'm back to where I was the week after she left.  Hopeless.  Confused.  Lost.  Guilty.  Why do I still feel guilty when I was the one that was left? 

[fred6]

It's a long process billypilgrim. I'm 10 weeks since I moved out and I still get a couple bad days a week. I don't really have any secrets to make it any better for you. Just take it easy on yourself and try to occupy your mind as much as you can.

[Elpis]

Yup, grief sucks. Some days for whatever reason we sense something that takes us back down... .it's hateful and frustrating.

I was so glad that my therapist told me we can cycle in and out of the different stages of grief and sometimes experience multiple stages at once.

You're not alone. And if tomorrow isn't better then the day after may be. You're feeling the feelings, and that's what matters. You know they're feelings and will pass. These are the things I have to keep telling myself... .

I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time right now. 

[billypilgrim]

Thanks all.  Grief is definitely strange.  I was at such a good place earlier this week.  She barely came up in my day to day.  But I'm sure the holidays haven't helped.  And like you each said, grief varies in stages and this probably means I just haven't grieved enough.  I've been trying to stay busy and keep my mind occupied.  I'm still just a month out of a 6 year relationship.  So I guess I should have expected more days to be like those initial few days/week.   I'm just ready for her not to have a hold on me at all.  I've given too much as it is.

I know I'll get there.  Time is cruel. 

[Elpis]

Holidays definitely add to the mix!

A month after 6 years isn't any time at all, really. 6 years is enough time to have made many changes within yourself, and grieving the loss of what you thought you had, what you thought you were going to have, all while trying to readjust those changes you made back to "me" rather than "us" does take time.

It's great though and so helpful to put that stuff up here on the board and get the support we need.

We'll make it in time! Some days just seem a lot longer than others.