As much as we want the one closest to us to be the one that listens to all our hurts, worries, fears, frustrations and so on... .the BPD can't usually do that. They are unable. And that hurts, and feels lonely at times. And we want to get angry that we never get to have that with this person we love so much. what happened. I feel like I've been cheated into this mess... .but the truth is, we still love them. and we understand that its not them. Its just a wounded bear that lashing out and cant see right now. Its okay Falmar1010, I understand that feeling. But we are strong, and we are good people. We can do this.
An Idea, as much as we want it to be our other half to be able to vent to, other than counseling, find another close friend to hear you out. I had one that loved my loved one as much as I do, so he could stay understanding and supportive and not judging. but it helps so much to have someone help you remember that you are not the one with the problem, that you are thoughtful, and do deserve respect and boundaries, and at times you were thinking selfless, and to talk the situations out to understand what just happened. It is natural to need closure to hurt feelings, and BPD many times wont be able to give us that. So it tares at us. We must seek strength and healing (re-centering) somewhere else. Counseling really helps, building a relationship with someone sincere helps, religon, and this website always is here 24/7... .with that, we must continue to become our own best friend, and learn to love ourselves enough to take care of our own physical and emotional needs. You have us. and she will get there. Just love her.
... .but you must talk out these feeling. they are breaking you inside. Oh, journal writting helped a little... .Its hard, cause you dont want people to know her faults. There are safe places to talk.
