Does she care ? Does she now know I did love her ?

[Splitblack4good]

My BPD ex gf hadnt spoke in over 2 weeks after the bu I went NC she was very angry with me as I ended it . I then regretted it 2 days later ! The 2 days in between felt like u had s massive weight off my shoulders then so suddenly I missed her felt so bad aswell that I had hurt her deeply : she has a new bf (next day ) man I felt deppresed sad guilty the works. She hasn't really spoke to me much only in rage but could tell her normal angry to hurt angry she did not want to reconcile . She ignored my calls blocked me on FB ignored my texts the ones she did reply to got back its all f*****g lier you heartless b*****b etc . It's now been 4 weeks and she has calmed down and sent me a few texts one reply to my text that said I hope you don't hate me for ever she said no I wont I will just stop caring eventually and without over anilizing this could she poss mean that by stop caring mean stop loving me ?

I sent her one last text a caring one that at least she hopefully knows she ment something to me and although I ended it wanted her to know I did have an emotional attachment to her pretty much what Id sent her 4 weeks prior to then get the abuse and lier acusaitions . She has not text back ? So maybe a good sign and poss believes me and her silence was her response ?

Also her mobile phone contract is in my name she has gladly offerd to pay the monthly bill into my bank every month I said ok thanks il sent imfo to you then least you won't have to contact me and vice versa but she insists I text her once a month with the bill total . What conffused with that is her tariff is fixed price every month so she would not need to know this to pay it without any contact . Could this be away of staying in my life so she may want to reconcile later ?

Now I thought once they hate you it's instant ?

The other one is she was still angry at me does this mean they also care ?

We have both gone NC again now just wondering if anyone could tell me If what I'm thinking is correct does she still poss care ?

[Seriously?]

I.would say if she's truly a pwBPD,  she just wants to maintain a connection to you completely on her terms. I would just cancel her phone off your contract. I had to put my husband's phone in a suspended state because I could not afford.to terminate the contract at the time. Are you really going to keep her on your plan knowing she is using that phone to contact other men?  I absolutely refused to do anything to facilitate my husband getting on with someone else. You kind of give me the feeling you want her back, though. Is that right? You also.said she was in a new relationship only a day after you broke  it off? I would venture to guess the new guy was around long before.

[Splitblack4good]

At first I wanted her back I will admit that but since getting my head round it all and slowly healing and Thers no way I would of got this far if it wasn't for everyone on here . And I am aware of the new guy being on the scene before I ended it . There were signs it wasn't right she went cold on me started goin out with her freinds and neglecting me and her kids . The sad bit of all is Xmas was going to be amazing . Typical BPD style she blames it all on me for her actions well I droped a bomb shell on her last night and gave her the facts .

Ther will be no goin back for me now I'm worth more than this .

[Splitblack4good]

She has proved and reveild her true colours some of the comments she maid last night were

You are not the person I knew 5 years ago I don't like the person you are now.

I hope you have a nice Xmas ! Me and the kids will go without !

You took my money you ruined everything (she gave me £100 to fix her car)

I told her I'd been saving up for Xmas and I told her I was feeling low and pretty depressed and replied with

I'm glad your depressed you have ruined everything ! You took my money my engament ring you were gona sell it !

I had saved a lot of money in 6 months for the kids and us to have a good Xmas and I kept her ring because she wanted to sell it ! Funny isnt it the way they project on to us for ther shame and guilt I'm guessing most of the above she would mean the opposite in her mind ?

The best bit is she insisted on me texting her the bill amount once a month wen really she doesn't need it to then say yes Minimal contact as my new bf won't like it if we communicate to much ! If my head was still in a crazy state I would of believed her being away from her now for a while I read things like that and laugh and think man she is crazy ! Lol

[Splitblack4good]

I'm staying NC with her now till after Xmas wen her phone Bill is due but I'm wondering how long it's gona be before I get a rage text before Xmas she can't help but have the last word but will always leave it 3/4 days then do it my Xmas present from her would of been a whole can of crazy ! I think il stick with a pair of socks at Xmas that way I got my sanity in tact for the new year ! Lol