Reclaiming the Love of Learning

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi,

I get a monthly email newsletter from Heather Forbes and her organization at beyondconsequences.com  I have read all of her books over the past few years and attended a workshop on the school based book "Help for Billy". Her case study format in her newest books and her newsletter make it so easy to understand what she is suggesting. And her ideas do work!

Here is a link to her archive of newsletter articles -- Q&A Parenting Support

www.beyondconsequences.com/archive.html?inf_contact_key=ee9fe872f8b78c59e14d65ee97491de1a16f83e0cb961726f9d3b2209dc4e2a0

I feel drawn to share this. This information is helpful for parents of BPD school age, adolescent, teen kids. My experience with my gd9, when I am able to take care of myself so I am in a calmer place, has been so good. Please reply and share one of her responses that you can related to how it fits into your family.

Excerpt from "Reclaiming the Love for Learning", 2014 Issue 8

Reclaiming the Love for Learning

Children are vulnerable. In an optimal environment, they are not expected to experience this vulnerability until later in life when their minds and nervous systems are equipped to handle elevated levels of fear, stress, and overwhelm. Yet, the key phrase here is "optimal environment." Unfortunately, we live in the "real" world, so children will often find themselves in situations that are far from the optimal and the result can be childhood trauma.

Childhood trauma happens at both the emotional and psychological level and it can have a negative impact on the child's developmental process. During a traumatic event (abuse, neglect, adoption, accidents, birth trauma, etc.), the lifelong impact is even greater if the child believes he powerless, helpless, and hopeless. When a child experiences one or all of these feelings, he begins to believe the world is dangerous. Repeated experiences of these feelings will create a lasting imprint from which he operates and behaves. A framework based in fear and survival becomes the child's viewpoint of the world around him.

These early life experiences then influence the child's ability to "behave," or more correctly expressed, the child's ability to stay "regulated." Trauma impacts a child's ability to stay calm, balanced, and oriented. Instead, children with traumatic histories often find themselves in a "dysregulated" state, which manifests into a child who does not behave, cannot focus, and/or lacks motivation. It is not a matter of choice or a matter of "good" child verses "bad" child; it is simply an imprint from the child's past history. It's the child's new normal.

When working with children like this in the classroom, the most effective way to work with them is to work at the level of regulation, relationship, and emotional safety instead of at the level of behavior. These children's issues are not behavioral; they are regulatory. Working at the level of regulation, relationship, and emotional safety addresses more deeply critical forces within these children that go far beyond the exchanges of language, choices, stars, and sticker charts.

qcr

[qcarolr]

Hi,

I get a monthly email newsletter from Heather Forbes and her organization at beyondconsequences.com  I have read all of her books over the past few years and attended a workshop on the school based book "Help for Billy". Her case study format in her newest books and her newsletter make it so easy to understand what she is suggesting. And her ideas do work!

Here is a link to her archive of newsletter articles -- Q&A Parenting Support

www.beyondconsequences.com/archive.html?inf_contact_key=ee9fe872f8b78c59e14d65ee97491de1a16f83e0cb961726f9d3b2209dc4e2a0

I feel drawn to share this. This information is helpful for parents of BPD school age, adolescent, teen kids. My experience with my gd9, when I am able to take care of myself so I am in a calmer place, has been so good. Please reply and share one of her responses that you can related to how it fits into your family.

Excerpt from "Reclaiming the Love for Learning", 2014 Issue 8

Reclaiming the Love for Learning

Children are vulnerable. In an optimal environment, they are not expected to experience this vulnerability until later in life when their minds and nervous systems are equipped to handle elevated levels of fear, stress, and overwhelm. Yet, the key phrase here is "optimal environment." Unfortunately, we live in the "real" world, so children will often find themselves in situations that are far from the optimal and the result can be childhood trauma.

Childhood trauma happens at both the emotional and psychological level and it can have a negative impact on the child's developmental process. During a traumatic event (abuse, neglect, adoption, accidents, birth trauma, etc.), the lifelong impact is even greater if the child believes he powerless, helpless, and hopeless. When a child experiences one or all of these feelings, he begins to believe the world is dangerous. Repeated experiences of these feelings will create a lasting imprint from which he operates and behaves. A framework based in fear and survival becomes the child's viewpoint of the world around him.

These early life experiences then influence the child's ability to "behave," or more correctly expressed, the child's ability to stay "regulated." Trauma impacts a child's ability to stay calm, balanced, and oriented. Instead, children with traumatic histories often find themselves in a "dysregulated" state, which manifests into a child who does not behave, cannot focus, and/or lacks motivation. It is not a matter of choice or a matter of "good" child verses "bad" child; it is simply an imprint from the child's past history. It's the child's new normal.

When working with children like this in the classroom, the most effective way to work with them is to work at the level of regulation, relationship, and emotional safety instead of at the level of behavior. These children's issues are not behavioral; they are regulatory. Working at the level of regulation, relationship, and emotional safety addresses more deeply critical forces within these children that go far beyond the exchanges of language, choices, stars, and sticker charts.

qcr

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[SlyQQ]

in early kindergarten my step daughter went to a steiner school they identified very early on she had issues an would " need a lot of care an understanding " unfortunately this spooked her BPD mum who was in denial an she almost immediately pulled her from the school she later developed BPD though I feel this was inevitable the steiner school would probaly have helped a lot