Any side effects from being in NC ?

[guy4caligirl]

We all  know that NC is the only way .

Can anyone list the good side vs the bad side effects?

I am going to get hammered for this question I have a feeling .

[Deeno02]

The good part is distance. Time to heal and move on. Breaking that cycle. Although I have not seen or heard from mine in 4 months, I took steps to ensure that the temptation isnt there. I deleted, blocked, rinse, repeat all I could. Im good with it.

[downwhim]

The good part is the lack of anxiousness. Always awaiting what they are going to do next... .That pit in my stomach is not totally away but is getting better. The bad part is despite the BPD behavior, ups and downs of the rollercoaster we were busy! Loneliness is hard to deal with but if we all went out and found a quick replacement like they do we would chose the same kind of person... .

[antelope]

simply put, the positive side effect of nc for us is a return to sanity and normalcy... .it is a chance to evaluate what we have just been through, and the place we now find ourselves in after the chaos... .it's the opportunity to find ourselves again

the only negative effect is that it is very unfamiliar territory for us... .we aren't people that walk away from things, and say 'c'est la vie'... .

we are fixers and caretakers, and we felt fulfilled (in a dysfunctional way) by having this person in our lives... .to suddenly drop them completely feels unreal and devastating, and time seems to stand still... .we are mired in guilt and remorse, even though the final places we were being treated like $hit for months/years... .these feelings are testament to the incredibly unhealthy and dysfunctional attachment we had to this person... .it is the essence of the trauma bond

[Hadlee]

The good part is the lack of anxiousness. Always awaiting what they are going to do next... .That pit in my stomach is not totally away but is getting better. The bad part is despite the BPD behavior, ups and downs of the rollercoaster we were busy! Loneliness is hard to deal with but if we all went out and found a quick replacement like they do we would chose the same kind of person... .

That is exactly what I am going through.  I never suffered from anxiety or depression until I got involved with my friend.  I went on antidepressants a couple of years ago - thought it was due to my job - now I realise it was due to my BPD friend working with me.  She's still there, unfortunately.

[BuildingFromScratch]

The good:

Working within the realm of reality.

Time to take the focus off of her

Not reopening old wounds

Not being devalued

The bad:

If I contacted her, I'd have more hope temporarily, thinking she can fix my pain

Or thinking I could "save her", ... .