down roller coaster...

[4kidz]

here we go again- Had what I thought was a nice date night dinner/conversation with my uBPDw Saturday night. Made sure to approach "deep"conversation topics, not surface talk which i am always accused of. Silly me for thinking things MAY take a turn for the better. We get up Sunday morning and BAMM right back to the cold shoulder/silent treatment. I decided to stay away from the house for the better part of Sunday. Came home after she was already sleeping.  Before leaving for work Monday i was sure to kiss her goodbye and tell her i love her. Called her from work Monday morning to wish her a good day. Did receive a recall back wishing me the same. ( Without question the return call felt forced and without any emotion) I followed up with another call later in the day just wanting to hear her voice because I was having a tough day, (got her voicemail). Never heard back from her. Never saw her last night as she came home late. However my daughter saw her and was given the cold shoulder. Ironically( or not) she was totally happy and approachable to her daughter, my stepdaughter. So here we are today and I told myself that I will not initiate a call to her. I will wait to see if/when she contacts me. 1/2 the day has gone by and I have heard nothing...

      Question- am I being childish in refusing to reach out? Can anyone make ANY sense of why she is acting this way? Feel like crap and am so tired of this. Even being in my own home with her is filled with stress/anxiety... I am not gods gift to the world but on the other hand I am a good guy with a big heart who just wants to be able to smile AND MEAN IT... .

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