A BPD Christmas eve...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Merry Christmas to everyone here enduring Christmas with a BPD SO!

I think I had a full fledged BPD Christmas eve tonight.  Long story short is this:  I've been with my uBPDw for 11 years, 6 of them married.  Things have been difficult the last 3-4 years, but awful the last year.  My uBPDw has treated me like garbage over the past year and has been emotionally/verbally abusive to my 3 yo son.  I finally confused in my parents about how awful things are earlier this year and--due to one of my confidant friends spilling the beans--my wife learned about 3.5 months ago that my parents think I should divorce her.

Since learning about what my parents think about things, my uBPDw *hates* my family and had "refused" to let me take my son to visit them for a few days after Christmas. (My parents live in another state.)

Not being "allowed" to take my son to visit my parents for a few days after Christmas, I set up a facetime with them today so that they could see my son opening the presents they got him.  My wife *completely* dysregulates after the facetime (which she was not involved with).  She complained about all the "junk" my parents bought him, accused me of being insensitive to her feelings by having my son FaceTime with my parents, told me my parents had "invaded her house" (which I paid for) by facetiming and getting my son gifts, and called me an "agent" for my mom.  She yelled at me quite a bit.  Seriously, all I wanted was for my son to FaceTime with my parents since I'm not taking him to see them after Christmas.

If this is what future Christmases are going to look like, count me and my son out.  Worst Christmas eve ever!     

I hope everyone else has had a better Christmas / Christmas eve!  If you had a bad one, I feel for for and you are not alone!

[terranova79]

Merry Christmas to everyone here enduring Christmas with a BPD SO!

I think I had a full fledged BPD Christmas eve tonight.  Long story short is this:  I've been with my uBPDw for 11 years, 6 of them married.  Things have been difficult the last 3-4 years, but awful the last year.  My uBPDw has treated me like garbage over the past year and has been emotionally/verbally abusive to my 3 yo son.  I finally confused in my parents about how awful things are earlier this year and--due to one of my confidant friends spilling the beans--my wife learned about 3.5 months ago that my parents think I should divorce her.

Since learning about what my parents think about things, my uBPDw *hates* my family and had "refused" to let me take my son to visit them for a few days after Christmas. (My parents live in another state.)

Not being "allowed" to take my son to visit my parents for a few days after Christmas, I set up a facetime with them today so that they could see my son opening the presents they got him.  My wife *completely* dysregulates after the facetime (which she was not involved with).  She complained about all the "junk" my parents bought him, accused me of being insensitive to her feelings by having my son FaceTime with my parents, told me my parents had "invaded her house" (which I paid for) by facetiming and getting my son gifts, and called me an "agent" for my mom.  She yelled at me quite a bit.  Seriously, all I wanted was for my son to FaceTime with my parents since I'm not taking him to see them after Christmas.

If this is what future Christmases are going to look like, count me and my son out.  Worst Christmas eve ever!     

I hope everyone else has had a better Christmas / Christmas eve!  If you had a bad one, I feel for for and you are not alone!

[terranova79]

So, here's an update on some more outrageous stuff from my uBPDw last night.  Around 1:00 in the morning, my three year old son has a nightmare and is scared so my wife and I bring him in to bed with us.  Thirty or 40 minutes later he starts having a full blow seizure--back arched, limbs shaking violently, face turning blue and eyes rolling in the back of his head.  VERY scary stuff.  I call 911 and the ambulance shows up 20 minutes later.  By this time, things had calmed down and our son was asleep but feverish.  We think it is a febrile seizure, which is actually pretty common among kids when the get sudden fevers and it is harmless, though very scary.  Anyway,I get in the ambulance with my son to take him to the hospital to make sure everything is ok.  I'm not more than a minute down the road when my uBPDw calls me and asks whether Ive called my parents about this and tells me not to do so because she doesn't want them "intruding" in our lives.

I was shocked.  Here I am, taking my son to the hospital at 2:00 am on Christmas  and she has the nerve to say that?'

[Pingo]

Wow Terranova, I am so sorry!  What a terrible experience for you!  Is your son okay now?