New Member:)

[Tigger123]

Hello,

Skip suggested I post a message here as an intro to myself.  I am new to an online support group, but totally looking forward to it.

My 21 year old son was just diagnosed with BPD while at a rtc in Utah for substance abuse etc.  He was previously diagnosed with BPD, kind of off the cuff, by a clinician within the first 15 minutes of meeting with us, and I pushed it aside along with other diagnoses I didn't really like so much... hahaha!

From what I have been reading, he fits all the criteria.  He has been in and out of jails, rtc's, psych hospitals, IOPs etc since he was in fourth grade. The explosiveness started when he was 3 1/2.  My husband and I have three other children, two girls ages 25 and 24, and a 14 year old son whose life has been severely affected by this in a very abusive way. He also has learning disabilities and special needs.  He is our priority right now as we continue to try and keep our 21 year old out of the house, because there have been a few domestic violence charges while at home and it is soo toxic.

I am in weekly therapy myself, my husband is in therapy, our youngest is in weekly therapy with a super compassionate therapist. And then we are also working with a family therapist who is very knowledgeable and intuitive. I also attend weekly Alanon meetings which I love.

Our current concern is that our BPD has been in a treatment center for the past 60 days and we have not seen any progress at all.  His therapist there who diagnosed him also has three out of ten si kings who have this disorder and is working on getting certified in DBT. He is familiar with it and has started on a workbook with him just last week.  We don't know how long he will be there, because of insurance (BPD will not be mentioned at all with his case). We have not a clue what to do with him when they drop the ball and he will have to leave. He absolutely cannot come home to live.  He does not have his bs diploma, a couple credits short at this point, and no drivers license, which is probably a good thing!

That's basically a short version of my story.  Am really excited to get familiar with people and their stories so I can start to identify as part of my recovery.  Thanks in advance for any input you may have.

Cheers!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pessim-optimist]

Hello Tigger123,



I want to say - welcome to our little community of parents who understand what you are going through. Please make yourself at home here and feel free to share and also comment on other members' posts, we are here to support you and each other as we learn about BPD and about ourselves and learn skills to better cope with our situations, and hopefully see our loved ones recover.

Thank you for sharing your story - it sounds like you have been through almost 18 years of turmoil with your son. That must have left many scars and put so much pressure on your family! The fact that you are all still sticking together as a family (especially you and your husband) is a big testament to your endurance and commitment to one another.

I hear your trepidation about the possibility of your son living with you again. Those decisions are so hard to make - to let them come home, or not, and looking for other possibilities... .

You talk about the rtc in Utah - is it a facility solely dedicated to addictions or is it a "dual diagnosis" type facility (dealing with both addiction and mental illness?) - there have been members here who had no success dealing with their children's addictions until they were in a dual diagnosis program, and then they saw a break-through... .

Here is a link to one of them, it may give you some hope:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=202562.0

Again, welcome among us, Tigger123!