dealing with my mother n law

[Our abuse recovery guide]

my mother n law has been diagnosed with BPD but is in denial. She has hurt herself before and it has led to her being hospitalized but today was the worst it has ever been.  We received a phone call this morning that my mother n law attempted to slit her wrists and throat and had written 2 suicide notes.  My wife and me have been through hell and back and are in marriage counseling trying to deal with this because it is leading to other behaviors that are not healthy for our marriage.  My mother n law was admitted to the ER and is currently in the process of being admitted to a facility to help her with her illness. My question is how do I be supportive for wife and how do we deal with her mother? Her mother has been our children's caregiver until today but now we don't want her watching our children for the fear of what she will do next.  Please help.

[danr79]

my mother n law has been diagnosed with BPD but is in denial. She has hurt herself before and it has led to her being hospitalized but today was the worst it has ever been.  We received a phone call this morning that my mother n law attempted to slit her wrists and throat and had written 2 suicide notes.  My wife and me have been through hell and back and are in marriage counseling trying to deal with this because it is leading to other behaviors that are not healthy for our marriage.  My mother n law was admitted to the ER and is currently in the process of being admitted to a facility to help her with her illness. My question is how do I be supportive for wife and how do we deal with her mother? Her mother has been our children's caregiver until today but now we don't want her watching our children for the fear of what she will do next.  Please help.

[HappyChappy]

  Sorry to hear about your mother in law. By understanding BPD and the way it effects those around, you will be able to come up with the right support. There's a wealth of info on this forum, but I found the recommended reading also very good. You can use this website to get validation on how a BPD can make their children feel and act, using trinagluation and F.O.G. The BPD isn't always the only one that needs support. You and your wife also need support. There are also known techniques for getting the best out of a BPD such as S.E.T.  By understanding all this, you will see solutions. So by posting here, you've started the healing process. Best of Luck.