Loss

[Irishpixie]

Hi fellow members... .I'm new here and suffering such turmoil over behavior and emotions of my soon to be ex husband who has PTSD and I firmly believe concurrently has BPD

The darkest places he has taken me feel impossible to recover from

Highs and lows ... .hard to explain to my closest family and friend because of course they say"well he's crazy right".       Not so easy to accept and move on

[SlyQQ]

sounds hard an a lot to work through do you feel safe?

[rj47]

Not that it helps... .but most BPD's are adept at masking the underlying PD and quite good at being the victim and demonizing their partners. Your support network appears to have an idea of the depths of your troubles.

There is no easy solution to the roller coaster they can put us on. You'e new... .spend time reading the support material here and engage with others. Find what works (if anything), learn to cope, adjust and stake a claim to your own value as a person deserving of better whatever form it eventually takes. The hardest part is suffering alone and in silence.

Thousands here have tread where you are now and do care.

[vortex of confusion]

 

You are in a really tough spot. I know that it is very difficult to try to explain things to other people for a whole host of reasons. The people here are great about understanding as they have been where you are.

You say that he is your soon to be ex husband. Has the divorce been filed? Where are you at in the process? How long have you been together? Do you have any kids?

There is a leaving board for people that are on their way out of the relationship or have already left. There are lessons on that board that will help you with leaving.

There is also a legal board for those that have questions about the legalities of it all.

Welcome, you have found a place where you can get help and support. Start sharing as much of your story as you are comfortable with and I am sure that others will chime in to offer whatever they can.

 

[Mutt]

 

Hi Irishpixie,

I'm sorry your going through this.

Many members can relate with having a hard time explaining and being invalidated. I can relate with family members quick to judge.

It helps to talk.

[raisins3142]

There is a fair amount of overlap in symptoms of PTSD and BPD.

Most counselors/medical doctors do not belong on the pedestal that others place them upon, and most are only moderately above average in intellect.

If someone comes in presenting certain symptoms and then they speak of mistreatment/abuse in the past, I think many counselors will likely have a knee jerk reaction of "PTSD".  With the war in the middle east that has been going on, I'm sure that PTSD is mentioned constantly.

So, your ex seeming BPD but being diagnosed with PTSD is unsurprising at least to me.

My uBPDexgf was diagnosed with PTSD by a first year master's student doing required, free counseling for her degree at a 3rd tier public university.  The diagnosis of PTSD fits in with the blame gaming of folks with BPD ("see, that bad person did this to me and ruined my life!".  So, it is no wonder that they run with this diagnosis.  Heck, they might even like it.

[Restored2]

Welcome to this supportive family, Irishpixie.  We all are dealing with BPD people in various relationships.  Sounds like a challenging situation with your husband.  What has caused him to have PTSD?