I feel totally fine after the breakup... Except...

[cehlers55]

So me and the BPD wife broke up mid november last year. Other than the first couple weeks, which were very sad, I feel really good. I function well. Eat, sleep, work, go to the gym, clean the house. All normal. Except... .

At a funeral last weekend, I shouldn't be sad, the 90 year old man passed away. I didn't know him, just a family friend. I shouldn't be tearing up. But here I am, sitting in the pew, all teary eyed, listening to church music. Why?

A day or two before that I'm at home, just sitting around so i decided to listen to some music. Just listening to some oldies and i get some tears running down my face. Listening to some old blues/country tunes.

I'm like... .This shouldn't be happening! What's all this? I go to work, come home, I function well. Why am i totally breaking apart right now? I was previously a very emotionally tough person. RARELY if ever teared up. NEVER cried. Always logical. Why am i now such a pansy after this breakup? Am I going to be a train wreck forever?

Help! How do i recover the old person i used to be?

[Suzn]

Never, ever crying isn't allowing yourself to feel all of your emotions. Sadness is perfectly normal after a breakup with someone you loved. I'm sorry you feel out of control.    Let yourself feel this all the way through. Crying releases that energy.

When did you decide crying equated train wreck?

[cehlers55]

Well. I dont mean train wreck = crying. I think what i mean is what is up with these triggers causing me to have an emotional reaction? Is that normal? Is there anyway i can just follow a program, cry all my tears out (over a period of time) and then I know i wont be totally balling my eyes out when say... .My niece takes her first step... .or... .someone gives me a nice compliment... .or... .stuff like that... .Things that are somewhat touching to a person i feel would cause me to react emotionally in a way that is much much greater than the person i used to be.

[Suzn]

cehlers it was explained to me this way... emotions will wait for you, right under your skin, till you deal with them. There is no time limit. Meaning, if you are feeling that you are easily triggered right now maybe you've shoved those emotions aside for too long. Always being tough? What are your thoughts?

What would happen if you shed a tear watching your nieces first steps?

I hear what you are saying though, you are sensitive right now. It's not a bad thing, it's quite normal. I've heard some say if I start crying I won't stop. You will, it stops when you are done being sad. It takes some time but it doesn't last forever. Everyone has ups and downs, it's to be expected.