I knew she was going to split up with me but still stayed...

[Terrychango]

I will try to keep this one short but still feel stupid about it!

On the 15th of December I came across an email to her friend which my BPD gf had left open on her computer, she was basically saying that she was going to finish the relationship  because she did not love me anymore and as I would never be brave enough to. I don't know if she left it there on purpose as she knew I used her laptop as well.

Later in the evening I asked how she feeling about ''us'' and she said she was looking forward to our holiday at Xmas and was hoping it might rekindle things between us, it hadn't been great for a couple of months, she also said she still loved me. I believed her we went away and Xmas day of all days she said she thought things were getting better and that we were starting to heal and that she really loved me, 3 days later she split up with me as she no longer loved me... .

Why do we believe the lies, she told me these things I believe as she did not want to be alone for Xmas and she wanted to be away from her brother.

Did she leave that email open on purpose just to prove to herself she could control me. Why did I believe her and not confront her?

[christin5433]

I think we all hang on. I know I did too. I believe the lies too. It's hard not too when you care and love your partner. My r/s ended in dec too. I didn't see a email my ex just told me over and over for 2 weeks straight rt before Christmas . It was like some crazy way to control me and also she demanded a lot of changes of me . Talk about feeling not good enough. We had just got back from a amazing vac at the end of oct rekindling our r/s. her dad passed away in July and for 3 months she was so angry and I got the brunt of her rage. So we went together in oct. I don't know why or what made us split and it was a ugly end too due to her painting me black ... Her way of destroying. If you asked her she has many reasons why she left fancied or real. Mostly made up lies but even now I believe some of them... .How could u not your in such a broken place. I lost what was most important to me her and our kids and our family due to a mental disorder . I'm realizing it doesn't matter this BPD is vicious it goes against all that creates a union between 2 people. You can read all the web sites FB quotes on how to have a healthy happy r/s doesn't work with them. I'm learning about this and detaching . I keep going through all grieving feelings today more sad ... .I knew down deep it was going to end one day . I chose to stay until the end.