Newly out of Relationship with BPD Partner--Need Support Staying Out

[Depression = 72% of members]

I am newly out of a long-term relationship with a BPD partner who is not receiving treatment.  Newly means this is week six with no contact.  I would like to find the appropriate forum for support staying out.

Specifically, I affirmatively ended it in an email after two weeks of silence from my partner (following a seemingly normal weekend together).  He has not acknowledge the email breaking up, and instead four more weeks of silence have followed.  I am accustomed to this brand of silence and the emotional tug I feel because of it, and so far I have not indulged it.

By finding your site, I recognize now that the silence is a BPD tactic, and this is not the first time it happened in our relationship.  I am at the break through moment of letting go of the attachment, and I'd like to keep it that way.  But hearing from others who have had to deal with the inevitable "shot across the bow" email that seeks reengagement and how to not get reeled back in would be helpful for me.  Right now, I fear that email is coming from him down down the road.  

Background: Four year relationship; Both in our mid to late forties; both ended our marriages to pursue the relationship; both highly successful career oriented people; we did not live to together and were not married.  He's been treated for depression and went through a two day DBT program, but does not acknowledge BPD traits.  I have been treated professionally for co-dependence, am in recovery (though it has never been a depilating issue for me, and this relationship is the only one I've had in my life that has been so destructive).   His reengagement tactic over the last year (2014) was suicide threats and hospitalizations. I took the bait.  The last 12 months were characteristic of the BPD cycle, with reengagement out of need by him, followed by distancing (breaks) and help and control by me.  

Again, how can I take protective measures to stay out, should he try to reengage me?

[GBLAW]

I am newly out of a long-term relationship with a BPD partner who is not receiving treatment.  Newly means this is week six with no contact.  I would like to find the appropriate forum for support staying out.

Specifically, I affirmatively ended it in an email after two weeks of silence from my partner (following a seemingly normal weekend together).  He has not acknowledge the email breaking up, and instead four more weeks of silence have followed.  I am accustomed to this brand of silence and the emotional tug I feel because of it, and so far I have not indulged it.

By finding your site, I recognize now that the silence is a BPD tactic, and this is not the first time it happened in our relationship.  I am at the break through moment of letting go of the attachment, and I'd like to keep it that way.  But hearing from others who have had to deal with the inevitable "shot across the bow" email that seeks reengagement and how to not get reeled back in would be helpful for me.  Right now, I fear that email is coming from him down down the road.  

Background: Four year relationship; Both in our mid to late forties; both ended our marriages to pursue the relationship; both highly successful career oriented people; we did not live to together and were not married.  He's been treated for depression and went through a two day DBT program, but does not acknowledge BPD traits.  I have been treated professionally for co-dependence, am in recovery (though it has never been a depilating issue for me, and this relationship is the only one I've had in my life that has been so destructive).   His reengagement tactic over the last year (2014) was suicide threats and hospitalizations. I took the bait.  The last 12 months were characteristic of the BPD cycle, with reengagement out of need by him, followed by distancing (breaks) and help and control by me.  

Again, how can I take protective measures to stay out, should he try to reengage me?

[Tim300]

Sorry that you are going through this.  You are in the right place.  I would just keep reading about BPD and keep trying to cultivate your network and interests.  Recognize that it will only get worse -- much worse (I say this based on personal experience and everything I've read).  By much worse, I mean that the pwBPD will destroy your life, pull you down, threaten to destroy your career, try to have sex with your friends in an open way, possibly physically attack you and threaten to kill you because of a fear of abandonment or rejection or loss of control over you.