Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
July 07, 2025, 03:04:39 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Things we can't ignore
What Does it Take to Be in a Relationship
Why We Struggle in Our Relationships
Is Your Relationship Breaking Down?
Codependency and Codependent Relationships
93
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
things feel like they are getting worse
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: things feel like they are getting worse (Read 620 times)
maxsterling
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2779
things feel like they are getting worse
«
on:
February 03, 2015, 08:01:46 AM »
Not sure what is going on here. I know there are issues causing her stress. But, these are the same issues and not new ones. Stuff she has already admitted to and is aware of, yet still stressed about and taking out on me.
I started taking medicine for adult ADHD. I was warned it could make anxiety worse, and I think it has. P says I may need to take an SSRI for anxiety at the same time. I think I will try that. Problem is, anxiety is normally manageable. But tense situations feel a while lot more tense, and I return to baseline much slower. And there have been daily tense situations the past few weeks!
And here I am - having issues with ED no doubt because of stress, loss of appetite, not sleeping well... . and I wake to stomping around, slamming doors, cursing... . Last night was the rant about how she should have never moved here, has no money, life sucks, should just die, etc... .30 mins later, hugging me crying says she really wants a baby. ? The laws of nature must work different in the BPD universe!
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
formflier
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: things feel like they are getting worse
«
Reply #1 on:
February 03, 2015, 08:31:01 AM »
Hang in there max! If you check out my thread about hotel room in strange city... .I think some of "my" PTSD issues... .contributed. It is... .what it is.
I'm taking that into account to think about boundaries for the future... .basically... what will I do next time the yelling starts anywhere... or specifically... .in the house of a FOO.
Logged
Notwendy
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 11608
Re: things feel like they are getting worse
«
Reply #2 on:
February 03, 2015, 08:52:07 AM »
I think you know how babies are made, Max,
Unless you want to be the father of one, take steps to protect your side of that deal. She could catch you off guard, stop using whatever she uses for birth control and not tell you, say she is using something but isn't. I don't mean to be graphic, but you should use protection for your part of that process if you want some say in this.
Logged
sweetheart
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married, together 11 years. Not living together since June 2017, but still in a relationship.
Posts: 1235
Re: things feel like they are getting worse
«
Reply #3 on:
February 03, 2015, 09:39:34 AM »
Max remember in your wife's mind or part of it that baby might just make everything all right. No logic involved.
It sounds like your body and your mind are giving you some clear signals that things are not ok for you and haven't been for a while now.
Can you identify what it is that is causing you the most stress right now ?
Have you been clear with your wife around the issue of starting a family aside from ED, does she know want you want, do you ?
Logged
sweetheart
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married, together 11 years. Not living together since June 2017, but still in a relationship.
Posts: 1235
Re: things feel like they are getting worse
«
Reply #4 on:
February 06, 2015, 12:03:34 PM »
Max your current difficulties made me think again about what you posted here.
You mentioned the possibility of taking an SSRI for anxiety. I want to say that anxiety is also a warning sign that we are not coping. One way of looking at anxiety for me is as a defence mechanism that is protecting our conscious mind from thoughts and feelings that are too difficult to contemplate. For me it can represent a disjuncture between mind and body. Try and listen to what your physical symptoms are telling you? How are they at the moment?
You posted this before your wife's most recent dysregulation and I thought about it in relation to how stressed you are feeling and all that has been happening.
What you have outlined in this post is really important because it might provide you with valuable information to help you protect yourself better.
I know you have your own T, where is the focus for you in your work there ? ( you don't have to post an answer ) just food for thought.
Logged
Notwendy
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 11608
Re: things feel like they are getting worse
«
Reply #5 on:
February 06, 2015, 12:25:30 PM »
Sweetheart- I wish there was a "like button " for your posts.
Logged
maxsterling
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2779
Re: things feel like they are getting worse
«
Reply #6 on:
February 06, 2015, 01:17:38 PM »
thanks for bringing this up. I actually mentioned this in MC today, that I feel like the issues of this week were building for weeks, and that slow accumulation of issues already had me worn out when she exploded on me Tuesday night.
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: things feel like they are getting worse
«
Reply #7 on:
February 06, 2015, 02:04:01 PM »
Quote from: maxsterling on February 06, 2015, 01:17:38 PM
thanks for bringing this up. I actually mentioned this in MC today, that I feel like the issues of this week were building for weeks, and that slow accumulation of issues already had me worn out when she exploded on me Tuesday night.
Can you tell us about MC today? What did you wife have to say about her behavior?
Logged
Matt8888
Offline
Posts: 37
Re: things feel like they are getting worse
«
Reply #8 on:
February 10, 2015, 11:51:49 PM »
Don't get her pregnant. Borderlines make awful mothers. Your kid will end up messed up.
I understand the terrible anxiety. I had trouble breathing... .blood pressure though the roof. And most anxiety and depression meds can make the ED worse. But you need to get it under control. You can't live like this. She will shorten your life if you stay with her.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
things feel like they are getting worse
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...