No, you're not crazy, evenGrid. Not even close.
For some people with BPD -- or whatever PD they suffer from -- this is something they feel a need to do. Every time my ex and I broke up (there were three times), for example, she went through this slash and burn phase. The first time, she threw away everything I ever gave her. Some pretty nice gifts, really. Made no sense to me. Second time, she left a bunch of things at my house, and used that detail to demand that I permit her to come back and enter the house to round up her own things -- because she didn't feel I would do it right (perfectly capable of knowing what's mine and what isn't, and not sure what use I would have for, say, an abandoned pair of heels... .). I wound up shipping everything back to her -- as soon as I did, I felt a huge sense of relief, and wished I'd've done it immediately -- but I was trying to protect her feelings at the time.
Yet, she persisted still -- said I hadn't returned all of her things, and made a list for me -- which included every gift she'd ever given me during our r-ship. Claimed that she was entitled to have them returned to her, because I broke the contract of our r-ship (we weren't married, didn't live together, weren't engaged... .), and as such I wasn't entitled to keep those gifts, because she gave them to me because we were in a r-ship. Now that we weren't in an r-ship anymore, she reasoned, I didn't deserve the gifts anymore either. It's a kind of revisionism that's I think fits in with their splitting us ("painting us black" -- maybe it makes the rest of their hate-mongering more psychically comfortable. Who knows -- I have no clue how their brains work. She went as far as to send me a list -- including line items for money that she'd "invested" in the r-ship (gas for her car to drive to and from my place, money she spent on vacations that we took together, really ridiculous) -- and claimed that she had the right to all of it. Said she spoke to an attorney who'd advised her to take me to small claims court -- which no atty in their right mind would advise, or judge would entertain. Even enlisted the services of a local police officer to do a "home escort" -- thinking she would be able to waltz right into my house and take anything she felt she was entitled to (doesn't work that way, either).
This last time, she repeated the same thing -- even though this time I learned from our past break-ups and as soon as I told her it was over, I got all of her things together, boxed them all up nicely in some plastic tubs that I took the trouble to purchase, instead of just throwing everything in trash bags -- or just tossing it! -- and left on her doorstep. Of course, I STILL hadn't done it correctly, according to her and she resumed her itemized list BS and threats of police and court. This time, though, I knew it was all part of the extinction burst (search that to read more about it on these boards). The only new "tactic" she used the final time was to start demanding that I stop using pics of myself that she'd taken while we were together, claiming she held the copyright on them, and like everything else, since it was taken during the r-ship, I had no right to use them now that we weren't together. She went as far as to fill out the paperwork to file a
DMCA takedown notice to
force me to stop using the images. Funny -- sad, really -- how she had no reservations whatsoever to resort to force to get something she wanted -- yet, any time I attempted to enforce a personal boundary with her while we were together, she accused me of being abusive. Anyway, as you may know, there's really no resolving this kind of issue with an online service provider, so I finally just changed the image to be done with it.
Basically, with my ex, it was all about spite and anger and control -- as well as some mistaken belief that, if she pushed hard enough, I'd have to fight her, right? Because she knows I'm not a pushover. But what she doesn't get, being BPD, is the concept of
choosing your battles.
Anyway -- don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do.
