Introduction

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hey, my name's Charlotte and I'm studying Psychology at university in the UK. I got recommended this site by a close friend of mine because of what looks like a really comprehensive self-help guide for abused children of BPD parents. In the past I've only had bad experiences with counsellors, which may be because I don't like people telling me what to do and don't know how to put a name to my emotions (SO MANY FLEAs).

My dad has uBPD and about nine months ago my mum (enabler) finally managed to get him to leave, but it's not been a walk in the park since then. Since I've been trying to confront a lot of my childhood and work towards becoming my own person. But, in typical enabler behaviour, my mum is still spending a lot of time with my dad (even though he doesn't live there) and doesn't understand why I can't "get over" my grievances and spend time with him as well.

Anyway, I've started on lesson 1 of the course on this forum, and it's nice to say hello to everybody  

[charlotteg2761]

Hey, my name's Charlotte and I'm studying Psychology at university in the UK. I got recommended this site by a close friend of mine because of what looks like a really comprehensive self-help guide for abused children of BPD parents. In the past I've only had bad experiences with counsellors, which may be because I don't like people telling me what to do and don't know how to put a name to my emotions (SO MANY FLEAs).

My dad has uBPD and about nine months ago my mum (enabler) finally managed to get him to leave, but it's not been a walk in the park since then. Since I've been trying to confront a lot of my childhood and work towards becoming my own person. But, in typical enabler behaviour, my mum is still spending a lot of time with my dad (even though he doesn't live there) and doesn't understand why I can't "get over" my grievances and spend time with him as well.

Anyway, I've started on lesson 1 of the course on this forum, and it's nice to say hello to everybody  

[Restored2]

Hello Charlotteg2761.  Welcome to this family.  This site is helpful to anyone who has been on the receiving end of a BPD relationship.  Hopefully the tools and forum discussions here will help you on your journey towards healing.

[clljhns]

Hi charlotte2761 and  ,

I am so glad that your friend directed you to us! You will find many supportive people who know what you have been through.

My uBPDmom is what led me to this site. I also have a degree in Psychology, although I don't currently work in the field of mental health, and haven't for many years. I sought out psychology to try and understand what exactly was wrong with my parents and family. I did gain a great deal of insight through psychology and also used the tools to help the healing process.

I don't like people telling me what to do and don't know how to put a name to my emotions (SO MANY FLEAs).

I completely understand and relate to this statement! I was always on the defensive with everyone. Part of this was the "fight or flight" reaction engrained in me from childhood, but I think it was also a need to be autonomous, since this was forbidden by my parents. I also had difficulty identifying any emotions except for anger and sadness.

Are you seeing a T to help you recover these "hidden" emotions? I found a wonderful T who helped me move through the anger and pain and recover emotions that I didn't know I had. I also used CBT techniques to change the negative messages from my childhood to positive affirmations.

What do you hope to accomplish on this site? How can we help?

Wishing you all the best.