I feel like the crazy one. ...

[Jeansok]

My H is so good at manipulation and of course taking NO ownership for his actions. I'm starting to get worried. The past month he's been sleeping in another room. it doesn't help matters he's been without a job for months.

He's been pretty absent for the past month and pretty much refuses to communicate with me what he's doing day after day hour after hour. Its starting to really effect me negatively.

Oh he does however like to ream in at me every chance he gets and think hes actually even convinced himself I'm the issue. Im just starting to get so angry with the absolutely no communication. When I try to even try and make conversation I get a sarcastic smart as* remark.

Having a hard time dealing and not going off on him.

This is SO hard.

He won't even tell me where he's been or what he's been up to just that he has appointments Etc etc. A couple weeks ago he got really upset he sprayed me with a water bottle in the face and backed me into a corner it's not the first time he's shown physical action but he never owns up to it (you can go back and read my original story back from 2012 I just joined again) ... .but he did practically have me convinced that I and the problem he's really really good at twisting things... .just have to talk to the people closest to me to remind me that I am NOT the one going crazy here.

and to top it off he has been diving into church and groups which is a good thing but he's using that against me... .telling me how everybody in his group is praying for me and istslike he's a victim of something... .probably has has his new church friends convinced aswell as himself.

It's so hard sometimes to let things go the things that he does to me mentally and to know anybody on his side doesn't know the whole story

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jeansok]

 

[Notwendy]

It can be crazy making to be accused like this. One reason for you to get help is for your own validation and sanity. I don't know about the legal aspects, but it would seem to me that having a T vouch for your sanity might help. I would check the legal board on this.

Spraying water in your face is not something you should tolerate. I would keep a record of that if it does come down to being in court.

[vortex of confusion]

Oh man, I have been there. I have been in that place where I thought that I had to be the crazy one. I still haven't ruled it out completely.

Is there any way that you can get some counseling or talk to somebody in real life that you can have as an advocate?

Also, if he is being physical, do you have an escape plan? Have you looked up any information about domestic abuse? Most areas have resources for women in abusive relationships. Backing you into a corner and spraying water in your face is NOT cool.

There are times I console myself with, "Even if I am bat crap crazy, that kind of treatment and behavior is NOT acceptable. PERIOD." The question is how to protect yourself without escalating the situation. How long has it been since you reviewed the lessons? I periodically review them and find new little tidbits each time.

 

[Jeansok]

Thank you. Good to know there is a legal board too! I actually am trying to schedule an appt for myself to see a T.

I've got to get some outside council

[Jeansok]

Vortex thank you! It has been awhile since I've reviewed the boards and would be a great idea to do again instead of living in my crazy world venting

My escape plan is usually locking myself in bathroom but that doesn't work. ... .He can still get in. All seriousness aside I have a good group of family and friends I can go to i n a heart beat.

to make matters worse I was holding our 2 1/2 yr old son when he did that with the bottle... .I was trying to get away and he backed me up into a corner I locked myself into the bathroom he came in and said I'm sorry you got mad at me for doing that smh and I was holding a grudge for a really long time waiting for an apology which I knew I would never get in I'm just hurting myself by becoming bitter... .heartbreaking thing is a couple of nights later I was sitting on the couch with my son and he said mommy spray,cry ? Broke my heart... .

a little background on the spray bottle my husband did research on how to discipline our son and that's what he came up with... .I am absolutely NOT a fan by the way and refuse to use it for discipline, he's not an animal and I'm not comfortable with it.

[Notwendy]

I don't think the spray bottle is a standard approach to disciplining kids. It seems abusive to me and humiliating.

People use them on cats and dogs, to keep cats off the kitchen counter and things like that, but not kids as far as I know.