Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 31, 2024, 06:47:53 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
81
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Hello everyone  (Read 424 times)
shelledy
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2


« on: February 23, 2015, 10:45:04 AM »

I was in a romantic relationship with an undiagnosed woman who showed very strong BPD traits.  She showed other Cluster B traits, but in my opinion, borderline was the strongest.  The first six months were incredibly intense, to the point where friends and family said we looked like drug addicts.  But eventually I got drained and stopped chasing her (we had this weird silent agreement, where she would threaten to end the relationship, and I'd beg her to reconsider), and we broke up.  For the next two years, we were on and off again.  With each breakup, the relationship weakened, the boundaries eroded.  2014 was the worst year of my life.  If I told you everything, you'd think I was crazy for sticking around so long, and maybe I was, but I had a lot of help in the crazy department from my ex.  I admit, I do have issues I need to work on, some of which I've had long before meeting her, but I also know she wreaked a lot of havoc in my life.  She's done this to all of her exes.  I was foolish enough to think I was different.  It's been 3 months of No Contact so far.  The longest I've gone NC with her was 4 months, so I'm not out of the woods yet.  But this time, things are different.  I don't pine for her.  I haven't even cried once during these past 3 months whereas before I'd be a mess.  I've finally accepted who she is and that I can't change her.  She's not the damsel in distress she makes herself out to be.  She creates her own drama and will continue to do so until she gets help, which is highly unlikely.  I'm grateful I dodged more than one bullet as the thought of co-parenting with a woman like this is absolutely terrifying.  Anyway, I joined this group to keep myself on the right path, and maybe I can help others with my experiences.       
Logged
Bumpsintheroad

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 36


« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2015, 11:58:46 AM »

She's done this to all of her exes.  I was foolish enough to think I was different.  It's been 3 months of No Contact so far.  The longest I've gone NC with her was 4 months, so I'm not out of the woods yet.  But this time, things are different.  I don't pine for her.  I haven't even cried once during these past 3 months whereas before I'd be a mess.

Shell.

Been there buddy.  I'm now 8 months NC with my BPDex wife.  (other than one brief email regarding a court issue).  She's off with my replacement and I couldn't be happier.  I don't know how she's doing and I don't care.  I believe she is lying to him.  I believe she's stealing from him.  I believe she's cheating on him.  I believe she is castrating him each and every day,,bit by bit.  I believe she is spending every dime he makes on $hit she doesn't need.  I believe she knows it won't last because her 4 previous husbands and at least 10 x boyfriends prove she CANNOT truly commit.  Unfortunately, I believe she will try to contact me somewhere down the road and try sucking my soul dry.  Why?  Because I was the first person who told her she was a SICK excuse for a human being and that I wasn't going to take her abuse one more second.  I too thought "I was different"  because SHE TOLD ME SO!  What an ego boost.  I don't pine for her... .I pity her.  I love her only in the sense that I found out how strong I've become and how much smarter and healthier I am.  Thanks biatch!

You'll make it thru 4 months, then 6, then a year and on and on. 

Best of luck and good fortune!

Bumps
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!