Hello everyone

[shelledy]

I was in a romantic relationship with an undiagnosed woman who showed very strong BPD traits.  She showed other Cluster B traits, but in my opinion, borderline was the strongest.  The first six months were incredibly intense, to the point where friends and family said we looked like drug addicts.  But eventually I got drained and stopped chasing her (we had this weird silent agreement, where she would threaten to end the relationship, and I'd beg her to reconsider), and we broke up.  For the next two years, we were on and off again.  With each breakup, the relationship weakened, the boundaries eroded.  2014 was the worst year of my life.  If I told you everything, you'd think I was crazy for sticking around so long, and maybe I was, but I had a lot of help in the crazy department from my ex.  I admit, I do have issues I need to work on, some of which I've had long before meeting her, but I also know she wreaked a lot of havoc in my life.  She's done this to all of her exes.  I was foolish enough to think I was different.  It's been 3 months of No Contact so far.  The longest I've gone NC with her was 4 months, so I'm not out of the woods yet.  But this time, things are different.  I don't pine for her.  I haven't even cried once during these past 3 months whereas before I'd be a mess.  I've finally accepted who she is and that I can't change her.  She's not the damsel in distress she makes herself out to be.  She creates her own drama and will continue to do so until she gets help, which is highly unlikely.  I'm grateful I dodged more than one bullet as the thought of co-parenting with a woman like this is absolutely terrifying.  Anyway, I joined this group to keep myself on the right path, and maybe I can help others with my experiences.       

[Bumpsintheroad]

She's done this to all of her exes.  I was foolish enough to think I was different.  It's been 3 months of No Contact so far.  The longest I've gone NC with her was 4 months, so I'm not out of the woods yet.  But this time, things are different.  I don't pine for her.  I haven't even cried once during these past 3 months whereas before I'd be a mess.

Shell.

Been there buddy.  I'm now 8 months NC with my BPDex wife.  (other than one brief email regarding a court issue).  She's off with my replacement and I couldn't be happier.  I don't know how she's doing and I don't care.  I believe she is lying to him.  I believe she's stealing from him.  I believe she's cheating on him.  I believe she is castrating him each and every day,,bit by bit.  I believe she is spending every dime he makes on $hit she doesn't need.  I believe she knows it won't last because her 4 previous husbands and at least 10 x boyfriends prove she CANNOT truly commit.  Unfortunately, I believe she will try to contact me somewhere down the road and try sucking my soul dry.  Why?  Because I was the first person who told her she was a SICK excuse for a human being and that I wasn't going to take her abuse one more second.  I too thought "I was different"  because SHE TOLD ME SO!  What an ego boost.  I don't pine for her... .I pity her.  I love her only in the sense that I found out how strong I've become and how much smarter and healthier I am.  Thanks biatch!

You'll make it thru 4 months, then 6, then a year and on and on. 

Best of luck and good fortune!

Bumps