A different story: A very long story and the signs that tell the tail.

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Hello, all. 

I met her this past December, just before the new Year. At a party celebrating the Christmas and upcoming New Year holidays. It was a festive night, there was an acoustic band, drinks were being shared and good times to be had with friends and happy socializing for everyone.

She caught my eye that night and I felt compelled to talk to her, she was beautiful, and I needed to at least say hi. To which, I did. She responded in kind and we hit it off, lots of laughs, light flirting and an immediate attraction to each other. I liked her from the start. With that being said, I had mixed emotions because I am single Man and had no desire to be involved in a relationship, I play the field I suppose you could say. It's a lifestyle choice I have made, and it has worked well for me and I am completely happy with it. But I liked her from the moment I met her.

I bought her a drink and we talked, her best friend was along with her as well, we all had a great time with each others company, it is a festive time after all. As the evening progressed one of their friends told them I had a girlfriend, unknowing to me. I did not, do I have friends that are girls? Yes, yes I do. As in a serious relationship? No, no I don't. The two of them both asked me that question straight up! I admired that, and assured them that I did not have a girlfriend that I was serious about.

I was having a good time and my interest was certainly having a good time as well, and as I could tell she was getting rather hammered. At this time I felt it was getting late and decided to announce my departure, and leave the scene. I went to say goodbye to a few friends and as I was leaving my interest and her friend was talking to each other at the door and leaving as well. She was hammered! I am talking, no idea where I am, hammered. I was surprised how quickly the alcohol hit her. Then I saw their mutual friend perving on her in her drunken state. The guy that told them I had a girlfriend (which I still didn't know he said that). To me that wasn't cool, but hey, it's their friend and I am sure they will work it out. As I am leaving her friend turns to me and says, do you know that guy? In disbelief I say NO, I thought you did! That changed everything for me at that moment. I walked back to them to make sure they get outside, we get outside and I am really surprised how much this girl I liked was out of her mind drunk so quickly. Then to make matters worse this guy I thought was their friend was perving on her hard! So, once outside I exclaimed aggressively, I have bad news for you brother, her friend is getting in her car and driving her home without you. I walk them to the car, this girl I really had good conversations with just started kissing this guy as I am holding the door open for her to get in on the passenger side. I couldn't help but chuckle and say ok, your done guy, go home get out of here. He did relent and walked back to his car. Her friend gave me a thanks and they both drove off heading home. I watched him as he got in his car and went off in a different direction, then I headed home.

Strange night huh? I wrote it off as a damn good time never expecting to hear from her again. No sweat, it is what it is.

The following morning I get a text from her. "I am so terribly sorry, it was a huge misunderstanding". I read it and didn't reply, 'cause well, I don't know her. That was a strange beginning was it not? My spidey sense was piqued. An hour later I get another text from her with a picture of the two of us together. Her friend took a picture of us together the previous night and the following text was the same thing "I am so terribly sorry, it was a huge misunderstanding". I once again ignored it. Followed by a text saying "can we try again?" by the afternoon.

As a Man, lets be honest, to turn down the opportunity for sex is a most difficult task. She was incredibly beautiful and I must admit I wanted her. I relented, and sent her a text saying, sure let's talk about it.

She invited me to her friends house as they were throwing a party the following weekend, the friend that was there the first night, her best friend. I reluctantly accepted as I had tentative plans, it was the night of the New Year. Sure, why not, I can see my friends anytime, and I will be getting laid instead a most promising endeavor. After I agreed to this attendance, later that afternoon, she calls me and tells me the party is off, her friend has a relative, a brother that is not feeling well, and the party is off. Ok, fair enough she owes me nothing, we don't know each other well we are free to do as we please. I explain that I am immediately changing my plans and I am going to some friends house that invited me earlier. I asked if she would like to come, and she says no, she should take care of her friend. Understood, perfectly reasonable.

11:46pm I get a text "I miss you". what the heck? Minutes are ticking away to midnight, a new year, a celebration of past mistakes and future resolutions. You miss me? I have to admit I was surprised by that and somewhat alarmed because we barely know each other. Little did I know.

About an hour later I get a text from her to come meet her out at (insert location here) she wants to see me again, she is there with her best friend out and about. Whoa... .what the heck again! You told me you were taking care of your friend, or at least her brother, the person that wasn't feeling well. Right? Now your asking me out after you told me you were mending the sick! I don't have time for this sht and I tell her to F off via text.

A little background on me. I have chosen a marriage free lifestyle, a kid free lifestyle, a relationship free lifestyle, in my eyes there is no benefit for a man to indulge in that. Analyze that all you like, I would be ok with answering questions about that because I know it goes against the old social norms.

She called me the next day and because I have a guilty conscience I apologized for my remarks, after all alcohol was involved and I may have been overly brash. No excuse of course, but we reconciled our misunderstandings (see a pattern here yet?) and decided to meet up again for drinks.

We met out at an intermediate location, we live several miles from each other, at an agreed location. We met up, and she was incredibly beautiful again, I couldn't shake it. Here I am a Man that just wanted to get laid, and she had me from the moment I said hi.

And then it started. The idealization. Oh how naive I was.

I mean, I have gotten compliments from women before but she somehow did it in a manner that I didn't suspect. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I was smitten.

I had the finest emotional armor you could forge wielded from the depths of life experience, I was a gddamn fortress! With a moat designed of liquid thermite on my command. How could this be?

Our "relationship" lasted about seven weeks yes, only seven weeks. During about week three she bravely told me she had been professionally diagnosed with BPD. What did I do? I dismissed it. We all have issues, right? Oh, how uneducated, ignorant, and naive I was.

I have so many details to describe that some of you may relate to, I want to describe them all! If only to help, to understand that you can avoid people with this illness and break the trance they can put on you. The things they say with false compassion is emotional bait.

I just realized how much I have went on and would like to pick up the rest of this story later if you will permit me. It gets interesting. Thanks for hearing me out so far. I am sure you see at least a few signs so far... .

I'll pick this up later if you permit me, I am so sleepy now.

[Mr Bo]

Hello, all. 

I met her this past December, just before the new Year. At a party celebrating the Christmas and upcoming New Year holidays. It was a festive night, there was an acoustic band, drinks were being shared and good times to be had with friends and happy socializing for everyone.

She caught my eye that night and I felt compelled to talk to her, she was beautiful, and I needed to at least say hi. To which, I did. She responded in kind and we hit it off, lots of laughs, light flirting and an immediate attraction to each other. I liked her from the start. With that being said, I had mixed emotions because I am single Man and had no desire to be involved in a relationship, I play the field I suppose you could say. It's a lifestyle choice I have made, and it has worked well for me and I am completely happy with it. But I liked her from the moment I met her.

I bought her a drink and we talked, her best friend was along with her as well, we all had a great time with each others company, it is a festive time after all. As the evening progressed one of their friends told them I had a girlfriend, unknowing to me. I did not, do I have friends that are girls? Yes, yes I do. As in a serious relationship? No, no I don't. The two of them both asked me that question straight up! I admired that, and assured them that I did not have a girlfriend that I was serious about.

I was having a good time and my interest was certainly having a good time as well, and as I could tell she was getting rather hammered. At this time I felt it was getting late and decided to announce my departure, and leave the scene. I went to say goodbye to a few friends and as I was leaving my interest and her friend was talking to each other at the door and leaving as well. She was hammered! I am talking, no idea where I am, hammered. I was surprised how quickly the alcohol hit her. Then I saw their mutual friend perving on her in her drunken state. The guy that told them I had a girlfriend (which I still didn't know he said that). To me that wasn't cool, but hey, it's their friend and I am sure they will work it out. As I am leaving her friend turns to me and says, do you know that guy? In disbelief I say NO, I thought you did! That changed everything for me at that moment. I walked back to them to make sure they get outside, we get outside and I am really surprised how much this girl I liked was out of her mind drunk so quickly. Then to make matters worse this guy I thought was their friend was perving on her hard! So, once outside I exclaimed aggressively, I have bad news for you brother, her friend is getting in her car and driving her home without you. I walk them to the car, this girl I really had good conversations with just started kissing this guy as I am holding the door open for her to get in on the passenger side. I couldn't help but chuckle and say ok, your done guy, go home get out of here. He did relent and walked back to his car. Her friend gave me a thanks and they both drove off heading home. I watched him as he got in his car and went off in a different direction, then I headed home.

Strange night huh? I wrote it off as a damn good time never expecting to hear from her again. No sweat, it is what it is.

The following morning I get a text from her. "I am so terribly sorry, it was a huge misunderstanding". I read it and didn't reply, 'cause well, I don't know her. That was a strange beginning was it not? My spidey sense was piqued. An hour later I get another text from her with a picture of the two of us together. Her friend took a picture of us together the previous night and the following text was the same thing "I am so terribly sorry, it was a huge misunderstanding". I once again ignored it. Followed by a text saying "can we try again?" by the afternoon.

As a Man, lets be honest, to turn down the opportunity for sex is a most difficult task. She was incredibly beautiful and I must admit I wanted her. I relented, and sent her a text saying, sure let's talk about it.

She invited me to her friends house as they were throwing a party the following weekend, the friend that was there the first night, her best friend. I reluctantly accepted as I had tentative plans, it was the night of the New Year. Sure, why not, I can see my friends anytime, and I will be getting laid instead a most promising endeavor. After I agreed to this attendance, later that afternoon, she calls me and tells me the party is off, her friend has a relative, a brother that is not feeling well, and the party is off. Ok, fair enough she owes me nothing, we don't know each other well we are free to do as we please. I explain that I am immediately changing my plans and I am going to some friends house that invited me earlier. I asked if she would like to come, and she says no, she should take care of her friend. Understood, perfectly reasonable.

11:46pm I get a text "I miss you". what the heck? Minutes are ticking away to midnight, a new year, a celebration of past mistakes and future resolutions. You miss me? I have to admit I was surprised by that and somewhat alarmed because we barely know each other. Little did I know.

About an hour later I get a text from her to come meet her out at (insert location here) she wants to see me again, she is there with her best friend out and about. Whoa... .what the heck again! You told me you were taking care of your friend, or at least her brother, the person that wasn't feeling well. Right? Now your asking me out after you told me you were mending the sick! I don't have time for this sht and I tell her to F off via text.

A little background on me. I have chosen a marriage free lifestyle, a kid free lifestyle, a relationship free lifestyle, in my eyes there is no benefit for a man to indulge in that. Analyze that all you like, I would be ok with answering questions about that because I know it goes against the old social norms.

She called me the next day and because I have a guilty conscience I apologized for my remarks, after all alcohol was involved and I may have been overly brash. No excuse of course, but we reconciled our misunderstandings (see a pattern here yet?) and decided to meet up again for drinks.

We met out at an intermediate location, we live several miles from each other, at an agreed location. We met up, and she was incredibly beautiful again, I couldn't shake it. Here I am a Man that just wanted to get laid, and she had me from the moment I said hi.

And then it started. The idealization. Oh how naive I was.

I mean, I have gotten compliments from women before but she somehow did it in a manner that I didn't suspect. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I was smitten.

I had the finest emotional armor you could forge wielded from the depths of life experience, I was a gddamn fortress! With a moat designed of liquid thermite on my command. How could this be?

Our "relationship" lasted about seven weeks yes, only seven weeks. During about week three she bravely told me she had been professionally diagnosed with BPD. What did I do? I dismissed it. We all have issues, right? Oh, how uneducated, ignorant, and naive I was.

I have so many details to describe that some of you may relate to, I want to describe them all! If only to help, to understand that you can avoid people with this illness and break the trance they can put on you. The things they say with false compassion is emotional bait.

I just realized how much I have went on and would like to pick up the rest of this story later if you will permit me. It gets interesting. Thanks for hearing me out so far. I am sure you see at least a few signs so far... .

I'll pick this up later if you permit me, I am so sleepy now.

[raisins3142]

I'm curious.  Please continue.  If it belongs in another area of the forum instead, the mods should let you know.

This reminds me slightly of the beginning with my ex with BPD, but your case seems a bit more extreme.