My fiance's ex

[scarletsienna]

Hi there.

I am looking for some guidance or thoughts... .thank you.

My fiance's ex wife has BPD (and I believe some other things as well)... .but she fits the BPD symptom list exactly. They got separated for 4 years ago and divorced the year after(divorced for 3 years) They were married for 10 years. It was rough as he has explained. He's been in a relationship with me for a couple years and recently we've gotten in engaged.

She has delusional thoughts and has accused him of the craziest things. She lives 3 states away, but constantly calls him and now me. She calls the police and tells them he sends people to hurt her. We've been on the phone at 3am with police 3 states away. She has created a delusional world that makes absolutely no sense. She has found out that he is in a relationship with me and is now starting to target me too. I am incredibly patient and supportive of my fiancé, but I need guidance. It is really hard to deal with on a daily basis.

Thank you.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Panda39]

Hi Scarlet 

Welcome to bpdfamily!  I'm glad you've found us and I'm so sorry the ex is causing you so much grief!

Does your fiance share children with the ex?  If not my suggestion is to block her calls and don't answer calls from phone numbers you don't know. Set boundaries and don't engage. Don't feed the drama.

If your honey and the ex share children then things get more complicated and I invite you to post on the Coparenting Board.

Again Welcome 

Panda39