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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Can he collect rent from 2 years ago?  (Read 565 times)
Sunfl0wer
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Gender: Female
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: He moved out mid March
Posts: 2583



« on: March 09, 2015, 07:55:19 PM »

We had an agreement that when we got custody of his D, that I would work part time to be available for her care/supervision.  This took a great toll on my business, however, we agreed that I would not have to pay rent during this time if my business was not producing a certain amount.  That lasted two years until she moved away.  For a year of that, I did not pay rent, as we agreed my role in the home and the sacrifice of my business was payment enough.

Now we have just 2 months together in this lease and he is hanging that over my head as leverage to get other things.

Is it even legal to bring up a debt (imaginary) after two years pass?

Thank you guys!
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ForeverDad
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Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
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« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2015, 11:29:48 AM »

Was any of the agreement in writing?  Can it be documented in emails or other communications?

If it went to court, the judge may view the claim as "stale" - perhaps owed but not legally collectible since he should have sought payment much sooner.  In other words, the threats may not have teeth, but an experienced lawyer could better advise you on the risks and your options.

Excerpt
For a year of that, I did not pay rent, as we agreed my role in the home and the sacrifice of my business was payment enough.

Any documentation for this?  As an example, if we were discussing wills, the later modification could be called a codicil or amendment to the original agreement.  If neither is well documented, then it may just end up as "he-said, she-said".
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Sunfl0wer
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Gender: Female
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: He moved out mid March
Posts: 2583



« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2015, 08:30:54 PM »

Thank you, no, the agreement for me to withhold payment for the year is not documented for either of us.  I just have a year of regular payments to him, then a year none, then two years regular.  I always pay check.  I was worried that my ongoing payment history could be "proof" of what "I should have paid."

He has thrown it in my face and asked for it back before via email, but when he was mad about something else.  His original intention was for me to continue to care for his D, therefore me cutting back at work for longer.  The only reason I went back to full time is she moved, therefore I could work again.  And also resumed my portion of the rent.
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.~Anais Nin
Panda39
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Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
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« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2015, 09:29:20 PM »

Thank you, no, the agreement for me to withhold payment for the year is not documented for either of us.  I just have a year of regular payments to him, then a year none, then two years regular.  I always pay check.  I was worried that my ongoing payment history could be "proof" of what "I should have paid."

He has thrown it in my face and asked for it back before via email, but when he was mad about something else.  His original intention was for me to continue to care for his D, therefore me cutting back at work for longer.  The only reason I went back to full time is she moved, therefore I could work again.  And also resumed my portion of the rent.

Can you document when his daughter was with you?  Show that her time with you aligned with the time you weren't working? Might give a little more strength to your argument.

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rarsweet
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« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2015, 09:42:38 PM »

IMHO he is blowing in the wind. Unless he had something you signed agreeing to pay and then you didn't. Every state also has a statue of limitations on small claims, just Google yours. And IMO the checks for a year and then none for a year and then them resuming would imply his consent to you not paying for the period of time you didn't pay. Is he threatened to sue in small claims court? And are you both on the lease?
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