similarities between BPD (waif) and DID (with BPD traits)

[Haye]

I'm live with my SO and my three kids (from previous marriage). He had been evaluated to suffer from BPD (waif-type) with some dissociative behaviour. I've been at this board about a year now, and gotten a lot information and help (thanks all you people . I've occasionally doubted whether he is a true BPD, and kept thinking it's perhaps ptsd with both BPD and DID traits. A lot of his behaviour has had the traits of BPD waif, quite clear actually. However, his psychologist and pshychiatrist have been reviewing his case and have agreed that he has a DID, with PTSD and BPD in a big role too. I don't know how it is with other waifs, perhaps he is just an exception showing the difficulty in correct diagnosing?

What has made it a bit difficult to diagnose is that his alters are not totally different (like one sees on film/TV multiple personas, with different clothes and names etc). However there are, and have been, traits they do not share. One alter for example is in charge with anger, resentment etc (he can't deal with rage otherwise). But what goes on is not much different than a BPD going into a ragefit. What does create more difficulties is that not all of his alters want to be with me in a relationship. Perhaps some here still remember something about my case, nevertheless he dumped me quite suddenly about two months ago after being cold and distant for a month. Before that happened we shared the most loving and intimate moments ever, for months, something that has always ended with him switching into a cold distant version of him. However, even this colder version continued to attend therapy etc, so his alters are not totally autonomous either (or they are, with the exception of the suicidal one, helpbent on getting him/them better)

But the good thing is that a lot of stuff that works with BPDs seems work with DIDs as well! My lessons here have been of good use nonetheless. For what i've managed to gather so far is that maintaining boundaries is perhaps even more crucial with a pwDID than with pwBPDs. Also not taking anything personally and avoiding getting involved in arguments. Both BPD and DID seem to have profound attachment issues, very similar in that perspective too.

So yeah. I'm with him, still, but it has been quite draining period of time. I don't know if being dumped and hasn't affected my feelings too much - i was getting used to the idea of not being with him anymore, though i don't think i never stopped loving him. Now I try to figure how much FOG affects my thinking and take it as it comes i guess.

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[Sunfl0wer]

What has made it a bit difficult is that his alters are not totally different (like one sees on film/TV multiple personas, with different clothes and names etc).

From what I have researched in the past, DID as seen on TV does not truly exist.  There was also a Dr. Phil episode about it.  He explained that it is rare that DID has such clearly distinct identities like depicted in some shows that exist.  Rather, when a person does exhibit that type of extreme DID it is because of the influence imposed onto the pt by a therapist who has taught the pt to develop the disorder that way due to their own biases or desires.