Tortured and fled

[Halo]

I was tortured and fled for the third and final time 7 years ago. I finally learned what was going on when I was planning my final escape. Now my mother emails me occasionally but I haven't ever picked up her phone calls nor do I ever want to see her again. The evil behavior was devastating and I knew I had to make a run for it. It wasn't easy. I was flat broke and no income or college education. I had to focus on my future in a state of devastation. I was like a Vietnam vet with ptsd. I was scared and felt mostly alone. I fought and fought to reverse the damage by clarifying reality to myself in a clustered mind. It took 3 years just to start feeling normal again. My goal was to establish a self sufficient business and finish college. I did both. I was willing to endure some seriously delayed gratification for the first few years and now I am free. I have a deep disgust for the BPD disorder itself. I don't know what to think of people inflicted with this disease. I stay far away but I hope for a cure. My self confidence and clarity of mind skyrocketed over the years although it was a slow start. The trick is to learn to end all communication. I know it sucks but you have to protect yourself.

[Kwamina]

Hi Halo

Welcome to our online community  It's clear from your post that you've been through a lot and your mother's behavior really affected you. Could you tell us a bit more about the way she treated you? What were the things she did that you found most difficult to handle?

You say she still occasionally e-mails you. How would you classify the tone and content of those e-mails? You clearly state that you don't call her, but do you respond to her e-mails?

I am glad you do feel that you've managed to grow these last few years and that your self-confidence and clarity of mind have improved To the right of this message board we have the survivors' guide for adults who suffered childhood abuse. The guide takes you from survivor to thriver through 3 stages: Remembering --> Mourning --> Healing. Each stage consists of 7 steps. When you look at the survivors' guide, where do you feel you are now? What are the the things listed that you feel you're currently working on or would like to work on?

[P.F.Change]

Welcome, Halo.

Ending contact with a parent is a painful decision and is not always the best solution for everyone. Each situation is unique and what works for one person might not be ideal for someone else. It sounds like you have taken advantage of the space you have given yourself to work on your recovery and personal growth, so kudos to you there. Have you ever sought treatment for PTSD? What is your support system like?

Wishing you peace,

PF

[Halo]

I have been to psychologists. They helped so much. It was a relief to see them. Nice people those psychologists. Very well trained.

[Turkish]

What key points did you take way from them Halo?

One of mine (regarding my Ex, not my dBPD mom) was, "I sense a lot of your anger stems from expecting her to be someone different than who she is." It's like radical acceptance, and hit me hard. Months after he told me that, I still struggle with it, with my Ex, amd my mother.

[HappyChappy]

I think your story is inspirational. Setting up a self sustain business despite all your troubles. Just shows the determination we can muster when needs must. I would echo the point about checking you don’t have PTSD. There’s loads of treatment available these days. Also looking into radical acceptance helped me.