Hi there shottsy,
Sounds like you guys are in a difficult situation and both of you are uncertain as to what is next. Completely understandable given the circumstances.
He is leaving it up to me.
This doesn't feel right to me. Feels like he is being avoidant, wants you to bear the responsibility on how things turn out.
Tonight we had a four hour discussion and fight about our relationship and frustrations all because I wanted him to help me unload my car and move some furniture around. He has been working a lot, and I have pretty much had to arrange and deal with all the moving things including cleaning out our old apartment we are moving from myself.
I tried to tell him that he should look at us as moving together as a team, and what's mine is his. The furniture he uses as well and I don't look at it as "mine" I want to build a life with him.
I'm with you on this one. Moving in together is a big move! How he is approaching this would make me unsettled.
Apparently though, others have expressed how for the BPD, this closeness can cause them anxiety and to feel the need to create distance.
So is it possible to let things settle for the week and then revisit the concerns?
Why do you feel that it is up to only you to decide?