Physical pain.

[mssalty]

In thinking of parallels between a parent and my SO,  I realized both have the same traits.   Their tolerance for pain seems to be very low (a playful tap or accidental bump can send them into instant agony), but if they accidentally inflict pain on you, they're quick to say "cut it out, that didn't hurt." 

[clljhns]

  mssalty,

In thinking of parallels between a parent and my SO,  I realized both have the same traits

Do you have a parent with BPD and now think that your SO may have traits of BPD? What are some other traits of SO that align with parent?

(a playful tap or accidental bump can send them into instant agony), but if they accidentally inflict pain on you, they're quick to say "cut it out, that didn't hurt." 

This is definitely invalidating for a person to tell you that they didn't hurt you when you tell them you have been hurt. How do you respond to these statements?

Please tell us  a little more about your story so that we can help. Glad you are here. Know you are safe and many are here to listen and support.

Blessings. 

[Kwamina]

Hi mssalty

Just as clljhns I'm interested in knowing more of the background that led to you posting this. Do you believe one of your parents might have BPD? You mention thinking about the parallels between a parent and your SO and realizing both having the same traits. You specifically mention their low tolerance for pain but that they appear to feel that others should have a higher threshold for pain. Did something perhaps happen recently that made you come to this realization?

Since when have you been noticing or become aware of these parallels between your parent and SO? Do you perhaps also see other traits that your parent and SO share?

[Deb]

In thinking of parallels between a parent and my SO,  I realized both have the same traits.  Their tolerance for pain seems to be very low (a playful tap or accidental bump can send them into instant agony), but if they accidentally inflict pain on you, they're quick to say "cut it out, that didn't hurt."  

This is my dBPD sister to a T! If you barely touch her, she'd be in agony. But after I had horrible back pain, she couldn't understand why I couldn't lift things because surely it couldn't hurt that bad. With my sister, I really think this goes to my sister's hyper sensitivity for herself. Plus, in her world, if she doesn't feel/think/believe something, you don't either.