Have a parent with BPD

[Edgewise]

Hello all,

So I'm here to try and find practical solutions/management to a parental relationship. My mother suffers from BPD (undiagnosed) and things have come to a climax in the last few months. I have two wonderful children and the relationship with their grandparent has become increasingly more unhealthy as time has gone on. The grandparent in question has increasingly become obsessed (specifically with my eldest child) over the course of time.

My Mother and I have sought counselling but things have not improved. In fact they haven't changed at all and I feel (and I'm sure she feels the same as well) that I haven't been heard at all. It is now at the point where I must question if the relationship with my children has reached a point too unhealthy to allow contact in the future.

This is an incredibly simplified version of events of course and hopefully I'll have more to share.

Thanks for listening.

[Kwamina]

Hi Edgewise

Thanks for this first post and welcome to our online community

This is an incredibly simplified version of events of course and hopefully I'll have more to share.

Don't worry about it! The important thing is that you've made your first post now and when you have the time you can share more of your story later.

My mother suffers from BPD (undiagnosed) and things have come to a climax in the last few months.

Dealing with a parent who has BPD can be very difficult. Since when did you suspect your mother has BPD?

I have two wonderful children and the relationship with their grandparent has become increasingly more unhealthy as time has gone on. The grandparent in question has increasingly become obsessed (specifically with my eldest child) over the course of time.

Could you tell us a bit more about what's going on here? In what ways do you feel that your mother is obsessed with your children and then in particular with your eldest?

My Mother and I have sought counselling but things have not improved. In fact they haven't changed at all and I feel (and I'm sure she feels the same as well) that I haven't been heard at all.

Did the two of you go to counseling together? Is your counselor specialized in dealing with families in which BPD is an issue?

[maemo]

Hello all,

So I'm here to try and find practical solutions/management to a parental relationship. My mother suffers from BPD (undiagnosed) and things have come to a climax in the last few months. I have two wonderful children and the relationship with their grandparent has become increasingly more unhealthy as time has gone on. The grandparent in question has increasingly become obsessed (specifically with my eldest child) over the course of time.

My Mother and I have sought counselling but things have not improved. In fact they haven't changed at all and I feel (and I'm sure she feels the same as well) that I haven't been heard at all. It is now at the point where I must question if the relationship with my children has reached a point too unhealthy to allow contact in the future.

This is an incredibly simplified version of events of course and hopefully I'll have more to share.

Thanks for listening.

Hi Edgewise,

Welcome to the forum. I also have a BPD mom and it's very hard to deal with. Like Kwamina asked, are you able to provide any information about her specific behaviors... ? Even with your summary, I can relate a little.

My mother is a grandmother on my brother's side and she definitely is preoccupied with the oldest daughter. Luckily, they live far away. My mom is always talking about her and also makes it seem like the daughter's mom (my SIL) doesn't treat her right. If my SIL doesn't let my niece have candy, my mom is right there to give her candy and say, "you know who loves you... ." & pull her typical manipulations. Not sure if any of that matches your situation, but I'd be curious to hear more!  

[HappyChappy]

 Edgwise,

You've come to the right place, most of us have a BPD parent and BPD do tend to be more predictable in their behavior. There are loads of resources on this site, but you'll need to be more specific, if you want specific advise. So do tell... .