partner? won't let me meet his kid

[Proboscidea]

On top of being from a sick family I am getting fed up with partner of three years. Although she says he loves me, she will not let me meet her daughter. She says that her dating would upset daughter so even though she wants to marry me one day but it won't be for a long time because of her daughter. Daughter is twelve and mom treats her like a friend, not daughter. At the same time she tells me that they yell at each other a lot. I love my gf and would also like to provide stability and a father figure for her and her daughter. Gf has been diagnosed with BPD but doesn't seem extreme.

Sometimes I think she is stringing me along and will never introduce me to her daughter or marry me. When I try to discuss it she tells me I'm trying to control her and to get f####. Then she will cut me off completely until I'm crying and can't function. Then I start to feel better... .and suddenly she is back all sorry and telling me I can meet her daughter. It never happens but I'm all in again. But I'm not happy. If I try to break up shell come to my house. It's torture really. I love her so much that one look at her and I'm puddy.

How can I break the cycle? Sometimes, even though I'm miserable, I still don't want to leave her. I'm getting as sick as her... .

[enlighten me]

Hi probo

It seems a bit like my exgf and her new parrner and to some extent me.

My exgf said we should have never moved in together as she was happy just f Ing me.

Her new bf lives away and she doesnt seem in a rush to move the relationship along

My thoughts on this are many and please bear in mind im on about my ex and every pwBPD is different.

My ex cheated on me and by all accounts has done so with her new boyfriend so keeping the distance means she wont get caught and can lead her own life. This seperating her family and social life may also suit her as she is afraid that if he spends more time with her the mask will slip and she will scare him off. She may also not want to put her kids through having multiple dads. She will want her kids to think well of her and bringing new men into their life might upset this image.

My exgfs daughter was also treat like a friend and she blurted out once that mummy has a new boyfriend. A bit of a shock as I was still with the ex so fear of daughter saying something could be another factor.

like I said this is based on my experiences with my ex and they are all different.