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Author Topic: through the furnace  (Read 516 times)
morningagain
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 547



« on: April 13, 2015, 10:48:10 PM »

only to find there is little left of me.

do not want what i had.

do not want what I have.

do not want any future i can realistically imagine.

2 and a half plus years out.  lots of progress and healing, detachment, learning, reflection, introspection, self-awareness, deeply accepting my role, etc.

anybody else this exhausted?  shouldn't i feel SOME invigoration?  sigh.  took an effort capitalize 'some'

What IS this?

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Weeping may tarry for the night,
    but joy comes with the morning.   Psalms 30
Tim300
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 557


« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2015, 10:49:50 PM »

You're 2.5 years out, congrats.  How long were you in it?
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morningagain
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2015, 10:52:22 PM »

tim,

somewhere around 10 years.

'congrats' rings hollow.  nothing to congratulate me for.  was a wreck then, am still now.
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Weeping may tarry for the night,
    but joy comes with the morning.   Psalms 30
Tim300
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 557


« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2015, 11:04:40 PM »

Are you better off than you were a couple years ago?  When did you pick up on BPD?
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Lucky Jim
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« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2015, 10:20:14 AM »

Hey michael999, I can relate, having recently gone through a divorce from my BPDxW.  I've lost a lot, no doubt, but to me, it's helpful to focus on what remains.  Suggest you pay attention to small desires, which provide clues to things you really like.  Maybe a song sounds good on the radio; maybe the sunset is particularly beautiful; maybe you meet someone who you find intriguing; maybe you read a book that you really like.  You get the idea.  See if you can come up with some of these things on your own.  LuckyJim
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
Suzn
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« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2015, 08:11:07 PM »

Hi Michael, it's good to see you.  

2 and a half plus years out.  lots of progress and healing, detachment, learning, reflection, introspection, self-awareness, deeply accepting my role, etc.

anybody else this exhausted?  

Sounds like a LOT of hard work. Self work has it's rewards however you can overdo a good thing. Where are you taking breaks? Meaning what are you doing to get back out there? Hobbies? Friends? Church? Are you isolating?

I have learned that I need to get out with a friend, dinner, a movie, something, at least once a week or every two weeks.
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“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” ~Jacob M. Braude
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