Still finding her old posts online

[.cup.car]

Was talkin with a brofrom here last night and showed him some of the posts I made about my ex on a different message board where thereare few rules. One thread was just myself and other users laughing at her crazy messages, which I posted uncensored.

She responded three months after the thread had died. Not uncommon for her, but it established a pattern that went further back than I'd originally thought.

For someone who wanted me to leave her alone, she sure spent a lengthy amount of time trying to instigate me.

Her comments are always the same and yet they still hurt. "He's making up stories about me to feel better about himself for being rejected." Obviously untrue but welcome to BPD. This time she added it was normal for her to want to kill herself.

Why does seeing this still bother me? Nobody sided with her, it's just the ramblings of a mentally ill individual? And yet I feel humiliated by it.

[Heldfast]

for your own health and peace of mind, delete all of these. I had to sort through emails, pinterest, deleted facebook conversations from several years ago, anything that gave her an avenue to me. Leave all these things behind, as she has done you. These are all artificial, you know that now, and there is nothing good that will come from allowing her to continue such artifices. The first delete hurt, the first block, by the time I was done, I felt relieved. That was one week ago, and I feel so much stronger now in moving on. Hell, even flirting has become fun again. Good luck!

[Mike-X]

Was talkin with a brofrom here last night and showed him some of the posts I made about my ex on a different message board where thereare few rules. One thread was just myself and other users laughing at her crazy messages, which I posted uncensored.

She responded three months after the thread had died. Not uncommon for her, but it established a pattern that went further back than I'd originally thought.

For someone who wanted me to leave her alone, she sure spent a lengthy amount of time trying to instigate me.

Her comments are always the same and yet they still hurt. "He's making up stories about me to feel better about himself for being rejected." Obviously untrue but welcome to BPD. This time she added it was normal for her to want to kill herself.

Why does seeing this still bother me? Nobody sided with her, it's just the ramblings of a mentally ill individual? And yet I feel humiliated by it.

I can imagine many reasons why it might bother you. However, I cannot feel what you are/were feeling, and I cannot experience what you were experiencing when you posted those things and when you were sharing them with another member on these boards. I would only be engaging in speculation (mind-reading) as to why you might be bothered.

You are the one who felt bothered and humiliated by what was posted. So can you try to articulate why did/do you feel that way?

[.cup.car]

You are the one who felt bothered and humiliated by what was posted. So can you try to articulate why did/do you feel that way?

Well it's like, wow, she's spending an awful lot of time trying to instigate someone she wants to leave her alone.

It's bothersome because her anger never seemed to subside. It made me concerned that things would progress to a point where it wasn't just angry internet ramblings from a crazy ex. Especially since she'd periodically contact my friends, family, and got her dad to threaten me. Even now, I wonder if the court order made things worse, because she can't vent online once every couple of months by calling me names on some forum. I'm worried her anger towards me is bottled up inside, eventually going to come out in some ridiculous way.

It's humiliating because over the years I've regularly had to explain to people in my life that "hey man, there's this girl, she's got issues, just ignore it." I don't want to have to do that anymore.

And it's upsetting because I don't have the greatest luck with girls, so to have an attractive girl from a wealthy family on the other side of the city wake up and obsess over me, but have no interest in sleeping with me... . It's a long, continuous insult.