More contact

[mitatsu]

She sent some sms today asking to contact direct she got a shock when i said all we need to talk about is divorce on or after Aug 9th... .

she told me we need to be adult! Yeah right and then asked for things back of hers i have (£50 worth) bear in mind she kept joint items worth £100's and cost me £500 on a cancelled holiday

What the heck do they have going thru their heads? 

[Reforming]

Hi Mitatsu,

After everything that's happened I can understand that contact with your ex feels very raw and charged right now.

Would you like to end all contact? Do you think any of her requests are reasonable?

I do appreciate how triggering contact can be, but if you can find a way to reach some agreement it might help you to process what's happened and begin to heal.

Reforming

[mitatsu]

No none of her reqs are reasonable it felt very empowering not to be triggered by her words and her false decleration of still loving me... .shes only got in touch after 6wks NC as she want something... .very child like 

[Reforming]

No none of her reqs are reasonable it felt very empowering not to be triggered by her words and her false decleration of still loving me... .shes only got in touch after 6wks NC as she want something... .very child like  

Even in the best of circumstances discussions over property / stuff can be pretty charged, but when you've been badly hurt it's particularly difficult.

I'm not suggesting that this is true for you, but when I look back at some of my own behaviour after my breakup I can see that I was so armed that I found it hard to be fair or reasonable.

Do you think your ex will continue to ask for her stuff or do you feel the matter is now resolved?

How are you holding up? Reading back through some of your earlier posts it's clear that you've been through a lot over the last couple of months

Reforming

[mitatsu]

To be fair ive been through hell ive seen my part in it all but accepted there would be no other outcome its been a pattern of her life

im accepting and on a great journey to find me

as to her... .who knows? The first part of healing is acceptence

[Reforming]

To be fair ive been through hell ive seen my part in it all but accepted there would be no other outcome its been a pattern of her life

im accepting and on a great journey to find me

as to her... .who knows? The first part of healing is acceptence

Wise words indeed. It sounds like you're doing good work. Well done