Did yours keep their wedding/engagement ring

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It might not be a BPD thing at all or maybe it is. I thought that it was odd that mine kept the engagement ring that I bought for her. I had to buy a cheapo sterling silver ring as a 'place holder' while the permanent ring was being made prior to going on the trip I had intended to propose to her on.

The ring had no monetary value so I wonder if there was any meaning as to why she decided to keep it. I heard someone mention that they keep mementos such as this as not unlike one who collects shot glasses of vacation destinations. 

Along the same lines, I discovered that she also took back all of the sappy greeting cards she had sent to me and I had attached to the refrigerator with magnets at my house. Anyone have theirs do something similar? Any guesses what the intent was?

[JRT]

It might not be a BPD thing at all or maybe it is. I thought that it was odd that mine kept the engagement ring that I bought for her. I had to buy a cheapo sterling silver ring as a 'place holder' while the permanent ring was being made prior to going on the trip I had intended to propose to her on.

The ring had no monetary value so I wonder if there was any meaning as to why she decided to keep it. I heard someone mention that they keep mementos such as this as not unlike one who collects shot glasses of vacation destinations. 

Along the same lines, I discovered that she also took back all of the sappy greeting cards she had sent to me and I had attached to the refrigerator with magnets at my house. Anyone have theirs do something similar? Any guesses what the intent was?

[Turkish]

Yes. As we agreed, I didn't buy an expensive ring, but got her a tasteful gemstone (of her favorite color) with diamond accents. Of coursed I'm biased, but it's more beautiful than the simple diamond studded band my replacement got her. I seriously doubt his ring was cheaper.

Keeping the ring from a broken engagement isn't uncommon, BPD aside.

After mine rudely left a lot of stuff in the house when she left, despite having months to prepare,      I went through some of her stuff as I was grouping it before I shuttled it over to her mom's house. She came back the next weekend to get some things, and I thought, "me being a storage facility doesn't give her carte blanche to keep coming over here." I forbade her after that and started shuttling. Boundaries.

I went through a few of her things, snooping, I guess, and found a flowery, sappy love letter from the bf before me. She ended up having to get an RO on him and he later ended up in the county jail on an unrelatec matter. I can understand keeping the ring, but why would she keep that letter? Maybe this has something to do with BPD (attachment), or maybe it's just nostalgia, who knows?

[downwhim]

As the woman who received the engagement ring and kept it from the BPD ex fiancé I felt it was my right. Why should I give back something that was intended for ME? He put me through a lot. Why should I give back something that I thought meant something? I was put through so much agony, embarrassment, confusion and pain that I feel it was deserved!

The ring has been in a safety deposit box since the b/u letter. I have no intention of wearing it right now. I decided in one year I would look at it and decide what I wanted to do. He asked for it back of course. It is beautiful and he gave it to me so it is mine, marriage or not.

Call me selfish, call me sentimental, call me controlling I do not care. It is my choice as to what I do with it. I earned it.