We were together 18 years. Split up the beginning of December. I tried ending the r/s 2 years ago but he would not let me. I actually felt I had detached from him at that time. His behavior was so erratic and desperate. But he got me back with a complete change in his behavior (at least compared to how he was most of the time), promised me things, wanted to make future plans, we started trying to have a baby together. I pretty much knew it wasn't going to last but allowed myself to go with it. Things got bad again... .
I was in an 8 year r/s; we broke up at the beginning of August 2014. About 3 months after that I decided to date - in part because I was feeling the fear that many feel at the end of a long term r/s: ohmigod, I'm never going to meet anyone else; I'll always be alone; maybe I'm not attractive or interesting enough; etc. etc.
The very first night I went out (a meetup for singles) I met someone. We dated for about two months, but the longer it went on the more I realized that I simply wasn't emotionally ready. I was honest with him about the fact that I had tried to start dating too soon. He understood. We still talk and I see him out from time to time.
After that experience I decided to take a year off of dating and work on
me. I found a therapist as my relationship was ending and it was a lifesaver in terms of processing the horrific pain I was feeling at that time and making sense of the chaos I had just been through. Now that I've done that, I'm working on some personal healing that I probably should have done years ago. This "year of me" feels good - I don't really want to be involved with anyone until I feel whole and sure of myself emotionally.
That doesn't mean that I don't keep my eyes open, however! One of the things I'm noticing is that, 9 months post b/u, I am "comparing" people to my ex less and less. I think it's partly because "time heals," but also because with all the work I've done, I've discarded the somewhat "idealized" view I had of my ex and replaced it with a more realistic version - especially in view of all the events that occurred in our r/s.
I would echo what newtothis28 said earlier: just take your time and don't rush.