recommended reading

[confusedinWI]

I realize that part of the problem i faced with ex gf is that I was a doormat and did not assert my boundaries or stand up for myself. It didnt mAke it right for her to treat me like that but she probably lost respect for me.

I don't want to be this man at age 37 anymore. Any book recommendations on how to be a better man? I know that if I had asserted my boundaries it wouldnt have lasted as long. Catch 22 I guess

[Mutt]

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get on with Life

by Margalis Fjelstad, Ph.D., LMFT

I found this book to be a good primer and is suitable after a break-up. It helped me understand the r/s dynamics with a pwBPD and the role of the family members. I hope that helps.

[fromheeltoheal]

There's a somewhat controversial book called The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, which I liked for what it was, it either speaks to you or it doesn't, and it definitely addresses the 'doormat' mode.  And the controversial part is quite a few folks are offended by the book and/or think Deida is narcissistic, delusional, has mommy issues, pick your judgement, so if you search for it on Amazon for example and read the negative review comments, there are many, many other book suggestions.  Well-covered turf, the info is there if we look, and good for you for looking.