exBPDgf cheated and is now making stories up.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

This happen to anyone else? I broke up with my exBPDgf a few weeks ago because it was looking like she was ready to cheat on me yet again! So I am going NC she has contacted me several times and now I am getting messages from her friends asking why I cheated on her? Apparently she is going around trying to play the "he abused me" card. I suppose to gain sympathy, either way. So even tho she has slept with several men both during, and after the break up. I am apparently the one who was fooling around behinder back. Anyone else have to deal with bs like this?

[NycNiceGuy]

This happen to anyone else? I broke up with my exBPDgf a few weeks ago because it was looking like she was ready to cheat on me yet again! So I am going NC she has contacted me several times and now I am getting messages from her friends asking why I cheated on her? Apparently she is going around trying to play the "he abused me" card. I suppose to gain sympathy, either way. So even tho she has slept with several men both during, and after the break up. I am apparently the one who was fooling around behinder back. Anyone else have to deal with bs like this?

[Turkish]

As maddening as it must be to have them contact you, how much do you value the opinions of her friends? Do they not know your exgf well enough to know what she's doing?

I know my ex told the OM (I should say "OB" since he's young enough to be my son) that I was in therapy, and that it was helping me, and that she even had sympathy "to understand why Turkish is the way he is." I'm sure she shared this any many other things with her friends, lying by omission to them about being in a r/s the whole time. She told me she admitted to cheating once, but lied about it ongoing. Waif play.

Do you even respond? Are you in a small enough social circle that you have to?

[NycNiceGuy]

I simply tell the the truth, which is that I have no idea what she is on about and have never done any of those things. They seem to get confused and I just tell them "who knows, I have known her for 3 years now and in that time I can't recall one story that made sense." I would love to tell them that shes full of it and shes the one who cheats, but I don't want to start a petty argument with her .

[Turkish]

Sounds like a form of the jedi mind trick.  Well, as long as it keeps you from being harassed and it casts doubt, then go with what is working.

[mitatsu]

  My Ex did the same to me claimed i was sleeping with a old flame of mine had a few people question mutual friends if i was! but anyone who knows me knows you wont find a more loyal partner (is that a good thing?) and i'm sure that folk will see the truth... .oh and the ex i was 'supposed' to be sleeping with is in a r/s of her own and more than happy 

[Kaster21]

This happen to anyone else? I broke up with my exBPDgf a few weeks ago because it was looking like she was ready to cheat on me yet again! So I am going NC she has contacted me several times and now I am getting messages from her friends asking why I cheated on her? Apparently she is going around trying to play the "he abused me" card. I suppose to gain sympathy, either way. So even tho she has slept with several men both during, and after the break up. I am apparently the one who was fooling around behinder back. Anyone else have to deal with bs like this?

Yes mine just did this. She kept putting me in no win situations with her family and I got tired of it. It got to the point she was fixing to put a protective order against me after I had went through her phone. Everything inside of me was telling me to run. As much as I had loved her I couldn't stay after all the lies, deception, & the cheating with multiple guys. She was mad because she got caught and thought she wouldn't. So she spun it to make me the bad guy for her bad behavior and lying.

[zundertowz]

yeah i suspect my ex cheated... .not really sure but she accused me at the end... .she also accussed me of beating her when she was violent with me and FB my friends and family about it... .these people are just insane im glad to be done with the insanity.

[runningup]

Same boat, she cheated on me, and has been going around telling intimate details of our sex life, as well as telling people I was controlling and physcially abusive. The sex details are true, the the two other laters are NOT, makes her seem like the victim in peoples eyes so she doesnt have to wear the guilt of cheating on the man the gave her everything, and tolerated and helped with everything. I am not the monster. laughable.

[.cup.car]

This happen to anyone else? I broke up with my exBPDgf a few weeks ago because it was looking like she was ready to cheat on me yet again! So I am going NC she has contacted me several times and now I am getting messages from her friends asking why I cheated on her? Apparently she is going around trying to play the "he abused me" card. I suppose to gain sympathy, either way. So even tho she has slept with several men both during, and after the break up. I am apparently the one who was fooling around behinder back. Anyone else have to deal with bs like this?

Same deal with the cheating, but I was accused of being a crazy stalker making up stories to feel better about myself. According to her, we never dated and she didn't even know me.

My response was to leak all our Facebook/Text Messages. Three years later, she's still mad at me. I don't think her reputation has recovered, but at least there are no longer any headaches on my end.

[runningup]

My response was to leak all our Facebook/Text Messages. Three years later, she's still mad at me. I don't think her reputation has recovered, but at least there are no longer any headaches on my end.

Thats interesting, how did you do that without getting into trouble?

[.cup.car]

Thats interesting, how did you do that without getting into trouble?

Looking back at the whole thing from a technical standpoint:

1. It ain't cyber-bullying if she's 18 older.

2. It ain't slander or libel if it's true.

3. It ain't harassment if it's justified.

What was she supposed to tell the police? "My ex-boyfriend posted a text online where I told him to kill himself and another one where I admitted to punching him in the face! That's like, soo mean! What lawyer would even touch this?

Kept everything I leaked to raw screenshots of messages and a light narrative to give some context. The only conclusion you could draw from reading through the messages is that she had serious issues and I was tired of being in a really weird, abusive relationship with a girl who was mentally unstable but so pretty that most people gave her a free pass. Basically couldn't blame me for speaking out.

Her own sister sided with me, and a lot of others came out with their own stories about her. Even got a pity date out of it from an old friend of hers. 99% of her friends are rational, sane people who saw what was out there and didn't believe her whole ".cup.car is ruining my life!" rants because they could see what went down themselves.

But her dad freaked, being a tech school instructor and all with a reputation to uphold, and I got an interesting message in my Facebook inbox from him that was basically a legal threat. Before they could get anything together though, I applied for a restraining order on her as she'd been pestering my friends and I throughout the summer and I was bloody tired of it. Used all the stuff I'd posted online in the lengthy court documents to reinforce that I was telling the truth. Got told in court I was making everything up and to stop harassing this poor girl with "fake Facebook messages", but a mutual order was granted anyways, primarily because I was a lippy c**t who let it be known I wasn't cool with being called a liar by two separate judges.

Few months later, she violated the court order because she saw something on Facebook that reminded her of me and she couldn't keep herself from trying to start s**t. Court order specifically told us not to do that. Oops. Didn't do a happy dance or victory lap around the house, primarily because I was so bewildered as to how she could sit there and tell her parents elaborate stories about how I'm a crazy stalker, and in a few keystrokes, prove me right.

Cops were nice about the whole thing though.