Dealing with a BPD daugher n law who has split the family.

[Our abuse recovery guide]

trying to get some suggestions / advice on dealing with a BPD daughter n law. She has split my family and seems to have full control over my son, her husband. I am raising his first two children from his first marriage. My husband and I adopted them and he refuses to see them bc we refuse to have anything more to do with his wife. She is total drama and last summer went as far as to take me into two different courts/ The  first one she was seeking a cpo /protection order telling the judge I abuse her and tried to run her over with my van. Needless to say she has no proof and the judge saw right through her and threw her out of his court room and dismissed her case. Ever since then we have not had anything to do with her. I miss my grandchildren and my son, but he refuses to see me, his dad, brothers or his older two children which live with me bc we wont have anything to do with her 

  This hurts the kids. Can someone give me something to hang onto. Suggestions, advice, your experiences ect. Thanks in advance for helping me and my family.

[jasper777]

trying to get some suggestions / advice on dealing with a BPD daughter n law. She has split my family and seems to have full control over my son, her husband. I am raising his first two children from his first marriage. My husband and I adopted them and he refuses to see them bc we refuse to have anything more to do with his wife. She is total drama and last summer went as far as to take me into two different courts/ The  first one she was seeking a cpo /protection order telling the judge I abuse her and tried to run her over with my van. Needless to say she has no proof and the judge saw right through her and threw her out of his court room and dismissed her case. Ever since then we have not had anything to do with her. I miss my grandchildren and my son, but he refuses to see me, his dad, brothers or his older two children which live with me bc we wont have anything to do with her 

  This hurts the kids. Can someone give me something to hang onto. Suggestions, advice, your experiences ect. Thanks in advance for helping me and my family.

[grandmag]

to jaspar777:

hello... .I read your message a lil bit ago and tried to respond but haven't figured out how to do it yet! I can use a computer, but get stuck sometimes... maybe you can explain how to me? Hang in there,I will respond to your pvt msg when I figure out how... I know both out sons seem to have landed wives that are shall we say more than challenging?I have been reading not only here in the forum, but the articles and videos available here, too. One can learn a bit and hopefully be a lil prepared... this can be a confusing and frustrating time... just ask me. so, for now I send you a hug... ((jaspar)) and remind you to take excellent care of YOU,

 grandmag

[bpdfamfan]

until he gets away from her somehow &/or sees the light I don't thing it's worth having him around. At all. It will only continue the drama. Focus on yourselves and e grandkids you have.]until he gets away from her somehow &/or sees the light I don't thing it's worth having him around. At all. It will only continue the drama. Focus on yourselves and e grandkids you have.

[jdtm]

Can someone give me something to hang onto.

Our son married a young woman whom I suspect suffers from BPD.  After several years of marriage, she left our son and abandoned her children.  Since that time, we have tried to put our "family" back together again.  Things are improving but I will never have the family I had before "her".  The devastation runs deep and long.

As BPDfamfan stated - "focus on yourselves and the grandchildren to whom you access".  Really, there is no other answer.  As many on this board say "you did not cause it, you can not control it, you will be unable to cure it".  I survived by changing my life - friends, activities, work, shopping venues, church, etc. (we even moved).  My goal was to not be reminded of my "loss" every time I turned around.  It helped but my heart will always be "cracked" (at least it is not broken any more).  I am so sorry - we all deserve so much more - but it is what it is... .