People outside and indifference

[Corpal74]

So many people have no idea. "why do you need to think about it, walk away". Anyone who has never delbt closely with someone with BPD is indifferent to it. These are people who know me. People who my mom contacts are always on her side because she manipulates them. However, how can you guide people to understand when necessary. I could come up with ideas of my own but i am curious as to what experiences people have had and what works and doesn't. It is nobodies fault  they don't get it.

[Corpal74]

I guess the reason for this is two fold.

1 helping my support group understand

2 helping the ones she manipulates into attacking people she is angry with. It is often authority  figures ex police and social services

[JRT]

I gave up on family and friends understanding, I am sure that after this long that they would be VERY surprised to know that there as some things about my relationship that I am still trying to close the door on. When I first found out about BPD and how certain that I was that it related to my exBPDfiance, I told a few people about it. The reaction was almost as if I was the one with a mental illness or disorder! Not only did they not understand, but they invoked the same superficial platitudes of 'good thing it happened now rather than after you got married" or " you just need to get over her".

The only place that I found safe harbor was here. It's just another dynamic of pain associated with this episode: I cannot even share this with people that are close to me - I am forced to keep quiet about it for fear that that it would be construed that I am the one that has mental problems!

[Corpal74]

I am so sorry to hear that. Yes I'm glad I have people in my corner after all these years that understand she's the one with the problem. Yet the look on their faces when I say I'm going to her house is almost frustration. She has done horrible things time and time again so I understand. Hopefully you find the support from family and friends, until than I'm happy you found people on here.