She wants me back but still has her replacement

[Issy]

Hi,

A while back my friend and I 'crashed' so to speak and then she found a replacement but now after weeks of silence she wants to get back in touch with me and wants to be friends again, but she still has her replacement. Why does she want to get back with me while she hasn't dumped him? Where does that leave me?

I am willing to take a second chance, and this time around I'll be way more carefull not to get hurt again, I have taken care of that, but now I'm extra cautious as I now found out she still holds on to her replacement. Can someone tell me what this means? And what she wants from me? I am not sure if I want this. Am I a backup plan now? Or does she really honestly wants my friendship (and all the time wanted it)? I might confront her and ask her why me now?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[vortex of confusion]

What do you mean when you say she wants to get back in touch with you? Is she wanting to rekindle a romance or does she want to keep you as a friend? If she wants you as just a friend, then that is why she hasn't dumped him.

It is best if you ask her what she wants. Nobody can read her mind.

Before worrying about what she wants, figure out what you want. Are you willing to be just friends with her? Are you willing to be her side thing while she is seeing this other guy?

The only way to know what she wants from you is to ask her yourself. I know this is hard. Guessing at somebody else's motives or asking other people to interpret another person's behavior is a recipe for disaster.

[Issy]

Yes I want to ask her. But I am not sure yet if I want to be on the side. It's ok, only if he wasn't my replacement. If it was somebody she informed me about and shared her thoughts and feelings about him with me then that's fine! But now it still feels like replacement, she is intimate with him now and not me, I don't want that.