I've had enuff

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Just as the title says.

At every twist and turn lately, there is a woman with BPD or some other F'd up condition.

Last night, via messaging, I was REALLY feeling the love.  I know she was drinking, I can hear it in her words and typos. Make a long story short... .she started treating me like my ex should have after the BU.  My ex is quiet and this woman dragged me thru crap all night and morning!  I'm doing NC for a second time now but only after 2 days!  NUTS!

[DyingLove]

Just as the title says.

At every twist and turn lately, there is a woman with BPD or some other F'd up condition.

Last night, via messaging, I was REALLY feeling the love.  I know she was drinking, I can hear it in her words and typos. Make a long story short... .she started treating me like my ex should have after the BU.  My ex is quiet and this woman dragged me thru crap all night and morning!  I'm doing NC for a second time now but only after 2 days!  NUTS!

[Hadlee]

Sorry to hear that DyingLove.

I'm also sorry that I can't help but chuckle at your "NUTS!" comment   I really don't know what else to say other than... .I hope your luck improves soon

[DyingLove]

10 attempted phone calls, I got called every name in the book, she even said that I was setup and the joke was on me and she was FBI.  I was thinking, noo, why didn't I listen to God!

[Hadlee]

WOW!  That is insane.  So you had only been talking to her for 2 days?  And she unleashed on you like that?

What is this world coming to *shakes head*

Oh, and I hope she doesn't know where you live!

[DyingLove]

WOW!  That is insane.  So you had only been talking to her for 2 days?  And she unleashed on you like that?

What is this world coming to *shakes head*

Oh, and I hope she doesn't know where you live!

well, she's got my PO Box... .and one of her last pm's in fb was  "c u soon"

But she can't take anything from me... .I've got nothing left... .I'm just getting past an empty shell.  Yes, first day she sent me a pic of her in a skimpy tee housing very large breasts.  RED FLAG, but that is not the first think that went up, unfortumately.  So that was the hook! 

[Hadlee]

Wow!  That's just crazy

[DyingLove]

Wow!  That's just crazy

This NEVER EVER happened to me prior to my ex.  I've become some kind of high powered magnet.  The love/lust really felt good and was quite a distraction... .incredible distraction, until I was laying in bed at 4:30am thinking... ."what am I into now!"  God has got to be angry with me.  I should have heeded his warning that I should NOT seek anyone until he gives me the go ahead.

[ReclaimingMyLife]

DL, I do not think God is angry with you. I am sorry this happened but the good news is you recognized crazy behavior IMMEDIATELY and have stepped aside!   Congratulations for your smart detection and execution.  I think part of what many of us are afraid of is that we will get sucked back in to another bad r/s.  So this, while disappointing, annoying, painful, is proof that you have grown and changed and are taking better care of yourself! 

Because it isn't true that if we get healthier that we'll never meet another unhealthy person.  What we hope to be true (what I hope anyway) is that I will no longer linger in their presence once I am in the know. 

You done good

[DyingLove]

DL, I do not think God is angry with you. I am sorry this happened but the good news is you recognized crazy behavior IMMEDIATELY and have stepped aside!   Congratulations for your smart detection and execution.  I think part of what many of us are afraid of is that we will get sucked back in to another bad r/s.  So this, while disappointing, annoying, painful, is proof that you have grown and changed and are taking better care of yourself!  

Because it isn't true that if we get healthier that we'll never meet another unhealthy person.  What we hope to be true (what I hope anyway) is that I will no longer linger in their presence once I am in the know.  

You done good

So true reclaiming.  I went NC immediately, I reported her threatening post immediately to facebook, and by the way she removed it.  I wrote to her and said in pm, that I did nothing to her and why did she post such a hurtful thing.  On my wall she posted I was a fraud!  LOL for what it's worth.

So, an update, she blocked me, cannot go to her page, and that is good!   She either A: sobered up and realized what she did.  B: sobered up or come down from whatever she was on, and felt like an ass for what she did. C: don't care but did what was best for herself.  :): who the heck knows.

I'm just hoping that tonight around 11 she doesn't start drinking or whatever and then start up her crap.  Honestly, I did start getting "mushy" with her, but every sylable was respectful and I did nothing but tried to help her with her website.  She turned into some kind of person from hell.  If she wasn't BPD, then you are not reading this because it's an illusion!  LOL

I've got and kept the entire transcript of the messages as well as a screen shot of her hate texts too.

So, I guess I had a kind of "compressed" relationship!  Not even any sex, but like I said, a racy photo.  I'm stunned because I didn't expect any of this... .but I understand and see what happened.

I'm going to NOT get involved anymore. All these people can kiss off.  We need a BPD-alyzer.  This crap has got to stop!

I just came back to post that I went in and COUNTER BLOCKED her on fb, incase she lowers her guard.  So now she can't snoop. :-)

[ZeusRLX]

Interesting... .how did you meet this woman?

Did she approach you or you approached her?

Something slightly similar has happened to me before... .

[zundertowz]

Thats a crazy story... .good for you ending it quickly.  Kinda sounds like every girl ive meet at the bar

[Kelli Cornett]

what did she do?

[Suzn]

10 attempted phone calls, I got called every name in the book, she even said that I was setup and the joke was on me and she was FBI.

Does she not have more than your PO box? (I think it's safe to say the FBI doesn't send racey photos such as this or joke about it.)

[DyingLove]

In response to most of the newer posts:

I was friends with her on FB for the longest time.  Very lovely in appearance.  Hello and goodbye at times. Many common friends.

I started posting a lot of inspirational stuff.  Everyone loved this and liked and shared my stuff.  This was fine and good.  I saw the regulars that liked at least everymorning.  So one day she talks to me in a pm. How she loves Trent Shelton.  He is great in my opinion too.  One day she shared a lot about her life with me. I could relate. She's been done wrong, and can't figure why "this" was done to her.  Understandable and I was emp/smp with her.  More and more often she commented on my posts and on occasion she would pm me. Still all is quite fine. Her profile picture displayed a very lovely woman with a beautiful smile. Very very friendly looking as well as sort of innocent. Her words were always kind and eager to be inspired by the things I've posted.

Well just the other evening, I was really getting ready to go to bed. I keep my phone next to me and usually at bedtime I lower the volume or I put it on vibrate. I did check Facebook one last time before finally putting my phone down and I thought to myself about shooting her in innocent message just saying how are you and hope things are fine.

I would say within a half hour there was a Dang and a message had come in from her. Basically she was just saying hi to me, but mind you this is about 1130 in the evening. Conversation went back and forth, all innocent with nothing going in the wrong direction on my end. At one point typing on the telephone became very uncomfortable so I asked her to wait a moment and I put on my computer. Upon getting back and letting her know I was on again, she had sent me a picture, nothing nude but quite provocative in a skimpy T-shirt, somewhat transparent and sporting a very well endowed set of breasts. Anyone would agree this picture was a turn on. The conversation took a slight detour. Without getting into detail, things got a little bit more mushy. The conversation went exactly where she wanted it to go, I know that, and she was very excited about it. All was fine and good to about 2 AM when we both said good night.

Ditto to most of the things that happened above starting at 1145 the next evening. I decided to assist her with her website a little bit by linking it to mine. She had no problem whatsoever with that. I asked her to send me her logo as well as some product photographs. Sorry, this part took place earlier more like about eight or 9 PM. So I did a mockup of a link page for her which of course she criticized because it was not complete, I had sent her just a quick preliminary. Now mind you this is all done at my expense on my website not a penny or an ounce of effort besides sending me the files. Well I semi-finished everything and uploaded it to my server and sent to the link and she was, by the sounds of her words, thrilled. We went back and forth talking about business and that was good and of course there were many innuendos of a more romantic and personal nature. She had me on often to speak my feelings as well as words that were comforting and intimate. At one point we were joking around and I felt very comfortable in our conversation. Everything was perfectly respectful and kind. At one point she called herself a Beotch and I joked back with her and several sentences later, and this is only because of what the conversation was, I said "what a b___". Everything was still fine and nothing was wrong conversation was going good. She remarked that she was breaking out a bottle of wine, and I gestured back to her to pour me a tall one. So obviously from that point on she was drinking and I don't know what else. We were several hours down the road must've been close to 2 AM and all of a sudden out of nowhere she said "you called me a b___". Not thinking much of it because it was all in fun all of a sudden I'm thinking about her implications. She continued on in a rambling type of a mannerism still saying about me calling her that word, and at that point I proceeded to apologize if it had upset her and I figured all would be well after that. Well she went on a total Schmear campaign right to my face, and the messaging of course, and she went on and on calling me names and telling me that I should remove her stuff from the website and I did it without her permission, and the jokes on me because she set me up, and she was the FBI, and she was going to ruin me. I kept the transcript, it went on and on. She wrote on my wall that I was a fraud. I wrote back to her in the p.m. and told her that I had done her no harm and there was no reason for her to write such hurtful things on my wall and I would've liked her to remove it. So it went on and on and I just stopped talking to her at one point. I removed everything from my website at that late hour and it took me about 45 minutes and she kept messaging nasty things and when I wouldn't answer she started calling my telephone. The day before I had given her my cell phone number so that she could text me if she wanted to versus messaging. I'm not exaggerating when I say she called 10 times. None of the calls I answered more returned. In between the calls she texted me wondering why I wasn't picking up the calls and still calling me nasty names. At that time I turn the sound off my phone and was not about to answer it because it was going on 3:30 AM. I reported the post that she made saying that I was a fraud to Facebook. Facebook got back to me about nine or 10 AM that morning this morning and said that she had removed it before they had a chance to take action on it. Maybe about 11 AM or noon time I discovered that she blocked me. Later on I'm thinking to myself, okay if she has BPD traits the next thing I could probably expect is her to unblock me and possibly spy on me and then attempt to make more trouble. So early in the afternoon I blocked her also so that there was no chance of any contact. Earlier in our conversation when it was going good she was going to send me a shirt because she deals with garments. So I gave her my address fortunately I gave her the PO Box. During the schmear, she also said" C U SOON. But then I'm thinking to myself even if she made the trip here across several states what is she going to get from me. I have nothing and I'm still in half ass condition. The good thing is although she got the drop on me, I did begin to recognize exactly what was happening. Believe me, at 330 in the morning all the feelings came back to me that I had experience with my ex, but multiply that by about six times and also condense the fact that she pulled all this off in two days. It was a very concentrated BPD effort on her end. So there you have it, my excitement and thrills.

The part that really did me in was this: when things were going perfectly fine, that good feeling within me, that love and being needed type of feeling was reviving and coming back to life. Obviously that was the idealization stage, and obviously the photo was the closest thing to sex that she was going to give me. I think back on it now and it was all about her even though she tried puffing up my ego. Once again I was used and abused, but fortunately I live to tell about it. I'm just gonna keep my nose clean at this point, I'll have to evaluate any closeness that happens with the opposite sex. Really I just don't want to get hurt anymore. I've become this superconducting magnet that attracts that type of individual.

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Please do not say you are a superconducting type of magnet who attracts this type of woman!   We do jot want any of that kind of self-fulfilling prophecy!

I would say you are superconducting type of RESISTOR!

[DyingLove]

Please do not say you are a superconducting type of magnet who attracts this type of woman!   We do jot want any of that kind of self-fulfilling prophecy!

I would say you are superconducting type of RESISTOR!

LOL... .very GOOD point Reclaiming.  I agree 100%.  I've got to be giving off some type of vibration that is picked up on by "said" personality.  Why, I have no clue, because your not even talking in person.  This is on social media!   I feel like part of a "gang" and I was putting my foot in the water to see if it was safe for everyone else to jump in.  Okay, so call this a type of experiment that went awry. :-)

[Invictus01]

Just as the title says.

At every twist and turn lately, there is a woman with BPD or some other F'd up condition.

Last night, via messaging, I was REALLY feeling the love.  I know she was drinking, I can hear it in her words and typos. Make a long story short... .she started treating me like my ex should have after the BU.  My ex is quiet and this woman dragged me thru crap all night and morning!  I'm doing NC for a second time now but only after 2 days!  NUTS!

I kinda laughed when I read this. I had EXACTLY the same thing happen to me about 1.5 years ago (before the BPD experience). This chick I met on an online dating website and exchanged some phone calls and texts over 2-3 weeks with, one night out of nowhere, don't even remember what we were talking about, unleashed just a completely crazy amount of verbal abuse, telling me insults I have never heard from a woman before. I immediately stopped replying to her because NOBODY will EVER be allowed to treat me like that. The next day, she blew up my phone with about 10 calls, a wall of texts and some emails. After a few hours of that, I told her to go away and that I would never meet her. Good times

[ZeusRLX]

I see. Well, I'm just glad that she revealed herself so quickly that you didn't have a chance to get deeper involved with her.

It's the ones that hide it really well that you have to watch out for.

[DyingLove]

I see. Well, I'm just glad that she revealed herself so quickly that you didn't have a chance to get deeper involved with her.

It's the ones that hide it really well that you have to watch out for.

True.  I think my ex hid it well, at least at first. Then gradually stuff happened.  I can't imagine being in a RS with a woman as I described above.  If you saw her pic, you'd pass out. So kind looking as well as extremely sexy.  Can't go by the packaging I guess.  I like meeting people either online or thru messages/words. It seems to give you some insight into their hearts and souls. But it seems, that is becoming a well played game too.

So meet em online... .learn what you can and they CAN hide it too.

So meet em in person... .they can really dupe you by giving you the entire floorshow.

As in the words of the elephant man:  "I am not a magnet!"  (hows that reclaiming!)

Hey Invictus01, RIGHT ON for getting out of that one fast.  I can see where the pattern is in the behaviour and each person starts the book off with a different chapter 1.  When you get to chapter 2, they start running out of original material!  LOL