I need help It's about my adult son.

[Sonia]

Hello,

I'm not certain if my adult son has BPD or not. He has been exhibiting traits over the past year, though. Within the last two month's it has escalated tremendously! Towards his father (we've been divorced for many years and are good friends), his cousins (has cut them out of his life harshly), his aunt (refused to do small favors for her) and most especially me, his Mom (I'm healthier than I've ever been. He's begged me to "be normal" for year's. The healthier I've gotten, the worse he's gotten). We have a family history of behavioral health issue's on both side's of the family. I was addicted to prescription drug's for many year's. I didn't abuse my children ever intentionally. I was a very "functional dysfunctional" parent though. I depended on my kid's far too much for emotional support. After a fairy good conversation a day ago, my son lost it with me today ending in, "F... .you Mom!", after I stood up for myself and confronted him. I didn't yell, blame, accuse. He's recently married. Second marriage. I'm concerned for his wife. His father, step Mom and I are worried sick! He doesn't have an addictive personality, has never used drug's and rarely drinks. The only other explanation may be a prescription medication that we're unaware of, or a supplement for men. These outbursts have gotten out of control. He completely loses control of his anger. I understand he may still have childhood issues. Why is this happening now? Thank you for reading.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi Sonia

Welcome to bpdfamily  And congratulations on the health improvements you've achieved

How old is your son now? You say he has been exhibiting BPD traits over the past year and that the situation has really escalated these last two months. Did something perhaps happen two months ago that might have triggered him? Perhaps something that most people wouldn't consider a big deal but he perceived quite differently?

You say he's recently married, could that perhaps have triggered him? How would you describe the relationship he has with his wife?

I suggest you take a look at the tools and lessons to the right of this message board. I believe they can help you get a better understanding of BPD and how to deal with your son. Certain communication techniques such as validation can be quite useful when dealing with someone with BPD traits. His angry outbursts do concern me though, do you feel safe around him?

Take care

[lbjnltx]

Hello Sonia,

I'd like to join Kwamina in welcoming you to the Parent's Board.

I'm sorry to hear that your son is not being supportive of your sobriety and personal health.  That must hurt!

Have you watched any of the videos we have on the site about the disorder?  BPD manifests itself differently in individuals and onset can occur in adulthood.  Most pwBPD (people with BPD) exhibited traits in adolescents. 

Has your son ever seen a therapist?

I look forward to learning more about you and how to support you going forward.

lbj