I'm having one. Sleepless nights, isolation, heart racing, panic attacks, anxiety, sick to stomach, depression, cut my hair, you name it.
I'm falling apart and I've been trying so hard to stay together. But I'm ripped up. He got my cat, he got my time, he got my money, he got a whole year of my life, he ruined a new relationship for me.
And he walked away without a scratch. He just returns to his normal life like I wasn't even in it. "Happy" skateboarding, cuddling my cat at night, hanging with his friends ( that think I'm crazy ) with out a trace of remorse.
I hate to sound grim but I wish death to him. He shouldn't be in society. He creates this trail of destruction and takes no responsibility for it. And why should he be the only one who doesn't have to pay?
I just hope I can't forget this ever happened someday. How do the rest of you deal?
BlackandBlue - I can relate to the nervous breakdown, sleepless nights, perpetual anxiety etc. This is the byproduct of a relationship with someone exhibiting BP traits.
There are multiple ways to deal with these feelings. Mind you, most of them are simple enough, but not easy when you are in the grips of, in essence, withdrawing from BP love.
First off is to try some simple meditation/yoga techniques involved with breathing. SLOWLY take a deep breathe and then slowly let it out. Repeat. Become aware of your breathing, focus on it. No need to control it, just put your focus on the air coming in and out. Breathe evenly and rhythmically if you can.
Talk to friends who are supportive and understanding and will not be judgmental. Tell them you are struggling and how you are feeling.
Come out here and post messages and read other stories. I find it to be invaluably helpful to know I am not alone, there are others who have experienced what I am going through and have made it to a better place.
This is tough stuff. Be nice to yourself. Take a warm bath or long shower.
What else is going on with you? Can you think of any reasons why you got involved with this type of person? For most of us, it is not a coincidence that we became involved with these type of partners. It can be helpful to have a fuller understanding.
