Chance Encounter with Another Non

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

As part of my healing process, I joined a local book club on Meetup and went to my first meeting tonight.  After the discussion, held at a local bookstore, I started talking to a woman who is also a teacher. We chatted about teacher stuff for several minutes and eventually ended up at the magazines.  I picked up Psychology Today,  which focuses on betrayal and manipulation this month.

The other woman also picked it up and said,  "That sounds like my ex." I said,  "Yeah, I just got out of a bad situation with a friend who was diagnosed with BPD." She replied,  "Yeah, I was married to one for 10 years."

We spent a good 15 minutes or so trading stories and comparing behaviors.  She is in therapy and offered a lot of insight.   This forum has helped me so much,  but actually meeting someone, from my area, with my same career, who knows where I'm coming from was huge.

Friends and family can tell you to get over it, but they just don't get it completely.  Having another Non say, "You are lucky.   She did you a favor" is so much more comforting.

Has anyone else randomly come across another Non in your daily life?

[SummerStorm]

As part of my healing process, I joined a local book club on Meetup and went to my first meeting tonight.  After the discussion, held at a local bookstore, I started talking to a woman who is also a teacher. We chatted about teacher stuff for several minutes and eventually ended up at the magazines.  I picked up Psychology Today,  which focuses on betrayal and manipulation this month.

The other woman also picked it up and said,  "That sounds like my ex." I said,  "Yeah, I just got out of a bad situation with a friend who was diagnosed with BPD." She replied,  "Yeah, I was married to one for 10 years."

We spent a good 15 minutes or so trading stories and comparing behaviors.  She is in therapy and offered a lot of insight.   This forum has helped me so much,  but actually meeting someone, from my area, with my same career, who knows where I'm coming from was huge.

Friends and family can tell you to get over it, but they just don't get it completely.  Having another Non say, "You are lucky.   She did you a favor" is so much more comforting.

Has anyone else randomly come across another Non in your daily life?

[Turkish]

My co-worker and friend of 20 years. He gave me his copy of SWOE, but I had just downloaded it, and also landed here. His exW he divorced 15 years ago (or they would have ended up bsnkrupt and lost everything due to her impulsive spending, secret credit cards, etc.). During the divorce, she assaulted him. He got taken to the cleaners in court, became an every other weekend and one overnight a week dad to their little boy. His lawyer was later disbarred... .horrible representation.

Something BPD comes up at lunch several times per week. We talk about raising public awareness (he first told me about Brandon Marshall), educating young people to be more aware (and self-aware, because we sure weren't), and the like. He since remarried a very nice woman and they have a baby. The only time I met his exW was at their wedding, and upon the first words out of her mouth, my hackles rose. I thought, "Oh. Boy." His subsequent stories matched my 30 second gut impression.

[chill1986]

Just got back from a date with another Non. Traded a few stories, nice to confirm each others thoughts, but quickly got onto happier things!