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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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He's dying
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Topic: He's dying (Read 455 times)
Lolster
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 184
He's dying
«
on:
August 02, 2015, 03:08:45 PM »
Well at least he say's he 'might be.' 12 months after I last had any contact with him. He's clearly upped the stakes.
I'm not sure I can apply SET to what I feel is nothing but BS, so I'll keep my cursor OFF the reply button! I wouldn't mind but he's used an old email address I hardly ever log in to, (but needed to as it's linked to an online account I needed access to), so didn't realise he wasn't already blocked on there.
Really thought he'd leave it alone after last time.
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Suzn
Retired Staff
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 3957
Re: He's dying
«
Reply #1 on:
August 02, 2015, 03:31:12 PM »
It's been a year, is he in your life in any way?
Nothing wrong with contact if you can handle keeping your boundaries.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I'd be upset too if I found out I had an illness.
I'm hopeful you are following doctor's orders and taking care of yourself.
Your health and well being are in my prayers, take good care,
Lolster
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“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” ~Jacob M. Braude
HappyNihilist
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1012
Re: He's dying
«
Reply #2 on:
August 02, 2015, 03:52:11 PM »
Did he say anything else in the email, or was it just,
I might be dying
?
You say that you feel it's nothing but BS. Instincts are important. And past patterns are good predictors of future behavior. What specifically makes you feel like this email is BS?
How do you feel about the possibility of contacting him? Given where you are now, as well as how past contact went, how might that go?
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Lolster
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 184
Re: He's dying
«
Reply #3 on:
August 02, 2015, 03:57:27 PM »
Suzn,
He hasn't been in my life in any way shape or form for 12 months. We had a very brief recycle 12 months ago, 6 years after we dated briefly. That started out with him apologising for previous behaviour, and telling me about his deteriorating health.
If I acknowledge him regarding his new (as yet undiagnosed) illness then he will also expect me to address his declaration of undying love for me, etc etc.
The thing is he has always had health issues in the time I've known him, which are suddenly worse when he's challenged on anything.
Happy Nihlist, hope this addresses your questions.
His past MO is that he uses health issues as a hook, some which are real, some which aren't. Real or not I cannot help him. And yes, he felt the need to tell me I was the love of his life. I find that pretty desperate when we have probably spent around a total of two weeks in each others company, in 7 or 8 years?
He's ultimately looking for a carer, and someone to vent his hatred at on bad days, which won't be me. He will want to start testing my boundaries again.
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